Sunday, July 17, 2005

oh well .. its 17th July now. to date , me. have acheived nothing . nothing at all .

i guess i sorted out few stuffs after chain smoking . (well , i finally admit publicly i smoke! ) shocked?

" why? why u smoke? " ( spoken with a mixture of shock and dissapointment )

" can you please change the brand of ur cigarettes? its smelly can? "

" eh ? u learn how to taleck ( to inhale smoke n let the lungs consume the shit ) ?"

most popular sentence " eh u smoke arh? u dont look like one leh ?" *roll eyes*

seriously i know the effects of smoking alright? i know wad it does i know wad it is . i was taught to educate kids not to smoke remember? i am not pissed off that ppl wants to poke their nose into my matter and all . wad i am not happy is that firstly , ppl do no speak with their brains . cause and effect remember? u never look beyond the smoking part . no one ever ask me the cause . *raises an eyebrow*

secondly , lets put aside all the other stuffs . i am beginning to take in the fact that everything i do , have to be put under scrutiny . hey look? cant i even choose the brand of cigarettes i smoke? . well i understand it will be kinda stinky after a smoke . but .. argh i am sick and tired of these crap lah . i cant even choose the brand i smoke? hello? must i change the way i pee? duh.

ok , friends ( did i call the name correctly?) i know u guys care . all these years if not for u guys i wouldnt have pass my module. i have eyes . i can see that u guys really care . really . i am touched deeply . but the feeling that u give me is that i have lost freedom . haiz . well .. sorry .

i didnt want to take other cigarettes the moment i heard this smelly brand is lighter in content than the more "popular" brand . tho sometimes i get realli sick with the sweet taste on the bud . why? becuase the fact that i know the negative effects of smoking , i want to have the ability to quit it anytime i want. and why i smoke like some dumb amatuer? smoking isnt that hard to do lah. i didnt want to take in full effect of the cigarettes like inhale all the way and hold . i CHOOSE to do it that way ppl. i am the timid bastard who doesnt want to get hooked on cigarettes that smokes! cant i even do it that way? my way? "ahahahahah... look at pundeh sam smoke .. cb waste my cigarettes only .. "

" eh why u so scared? u dare smoke dont dare let ppl know arh?"
"eh kewei kewei lai liao! " *sam quickly hides cigarettes."

kewei is one of the ladies i wouldnt want to hurt . like mum , have been hiding from her abt me smoking also . she sincerely cares for the friends around her lah . me , being her friend does not want to hurt her can? shes also the last friend i would want to lose . for she says " u dare smoke u no need come talk to me liao " . ok i dont know how to put it . bottom line , i just do not want to hurt her by letting her see/know i smoke.

now i sound contradicting? *hur hur* i just do not want to hide anymore . i am sick and tired . can ppl please accept me for who i am? its tired to wear a mask . kw , sorry ... i betrayed your trust . forget u ever had me as a friend ok? i am a let down.

look. theres sam with lame and stupid jokes again. muahahhahahha. yeah funny. pundeh pundeh pundeh sam . wahahahhaaha. u are a clown wad . dick!

friends , i am perfectly fine with nicknames and crap . i know i always come out with stupid jokes , ideas . but when i have something to say , it means i have a point to make? sometimes it makes sense and sometimes i may be wrong. argh . enough is enough right?

welcome to my life ppl ..
a loser was born 19 years ago to this world to entertain and bring trouble for the mass .

no more am i going to live in a world of yours . (whoever u are . ) ... wearing a mask to face everyone is sick . and tiring .

i seriously believe friends are made sincerely . and it lasts . friends may not talk for ages , but they know that they are there for each other when trouble strikes .

well , enough said . now knowing the real me , please reconsider making friends with me . be it old , new , might be , will not be . thanks !

realli have to thank xt cy wr for taking in my crap todae . and i think i have been a let down to barracuda .they did well todae . better without my mistakes i guess. and thanks to bro for the walk to shell , jy for sharing her stories . heh . its the real me u see on the streets next time .

sam
welcome to my life .

- welcome to my life
Scribbled by cow.drinks.milk @ 4:01 AM