hours of solitude

raging fire and the wicked apple

2007-01-14T04:53:00.000+08:00

** 0453hrs **
** body shopping **

oh yea . its the start of year 2008 already. 20 years 9mths and 5 days of living , 6 mths of ns and finally , 95 days to my 21st . just came back from yt's 21st . bbq and celebration.

nothing much to talking abt . but i have realised everyone have moved on in life . everyone got a job , a partner , a decent income , a proper education . the only thing constant is change . o.O

i am stuck . completely stuck . stuck with my life . neither forward nor back . stagnant . day in day out . i want to work . i want to earn a decent pay . but all i get is a mere allowance. crap! i hate to rant abt pay and ns . but it realli is taking a toll on my life . many things cant be done . and i realli mean many . -_- this is crap! ! ! ! CRAP in bold!

zzz

well... at least i am able to afford yt 21st present . which i paid 50% more . -_- arghz! but at least she liked it and it were the scent that she always use . phew... and choosing a 21st present aint easy . i even had to resort to buying NTUC voucher for her . lolz . that would be a pleasent surprise eh! haahhaa =x

so we started preparing for the bbq this afternoon. even after much protest from me and sy , she was so insistent that apple and egg over bbq will be nice . it was a bad idea from start . we got the ingredients ready for her lil experiment. and i was the one who was cooking her lil experiment for her! and it turned out as expected : inedible . zzzzz

all in all it was a great night for a gathering ....

yawnz ...

sighz... its been a tiring week .. sighz ...

tired .

samu

extreme sadness

2006-11-19T03:47:00.000+08:00

**0100hrs**
**huh**
**extreme sadness**

today i went to the medical officer for a check up . for the cough the have been bothering me for the past week. so there i went and waited for 2 hrs. they said the doctor rushed a guy to hospital.

when i got home , i saw the news . the guy whom was sent to the hospital passed away . cos of chest pain.

life is fragile. just a week ago , a guy had jump off from the 14th of my block and died. i saw the corpse. aint comfortable tho.

life is fragile that it can be taken away anytime. lives have been taken away all around me. thats sad. ever since the start of man kind , humans have been trying to protect themselves. devising tools and weapons to fend off beast and to the vaccine created in labs to fight germs. tho the effort , lives can be taken away easily. by the forces of nature and by their own kind.

man killing man . for idealogy for fame for wealth . 1001 things . irony. o.o

extreme sadness.

things aint going that well tho. things have been kinda stagnent at work. studying and studying and doing nothing. bored. the brain is hungry for new things to do and the body is deprived of activity. i cant take it any much more longer. tsk . i dont mean i am going to commit suicide tho.

extreme sadness.

A B A B problem have yet to be solved . well... not that i am stil holding on. i just cant take the aftermath. yeah. call me useless call me coward. i just don wish to attend the event on sat. not that i dont consider her as my friend. but i just cant bring myself to the event when i know i wont enjoy a single bit. the usual long faced quiet me.

extreme sadness...

do looks realli matter that much?

why do people look at the appearence and judge it before even knowing u . or rather why even knowing u , looks still play an important part? hur hur . not that i am whining but it aint fair . i give u a good looking guy with a bad character . u would take it anytime with saliva still drooling out of the corner of ur mouth. thats the impression i have . thats the way things are .

....

ok . 25th of nov. i have decided not to attend any thing. jo bbq , shuang bday , fatt concert and yan's performance. its just tat i cant decide which one to go . first time in my life i encounter these things. shows i am not that popular after all. well .. thats not the point . i dont realli care abt popularity.

sorry guys . its not that i dont wanna go. i have my reasons. reasons that are strong enuff for me not to attend either . so in the end i have chosen to go out with tang. and thats if she agrees . yeah. and dumb me for saying i wanna see much more of her thats why i dated her. great! i have just made the whole world turn against me. cheers

i know i have neither the looks nor the money to make u like me. i know it darn clear the rules of the game. and it sure looks like i aint playing with the rules.

...

ok . enuff . even i think i am too negative today . hur hur .. negative energy is no good .. no good at all ...

extreme sadness...

samu

forcefully awake IV

2006-11-09T03:11:00.000+08:00

** 0307 hrs **
** yet another forcefully awake day **
** POP LO! **
** A B A B A B **

yup.... PoP loH! lolz . i have been thru BMT . now its FLC . and its ending soon . tml infact.

in many a times i kept reminding myself the duty i am supposed to serve. the role i am supposed to fit in. defending the nation that is . the very first day of BMT i step into tekong , say my oath , i am official a member of the SAF . to serve and fight. to protect and uphold the flag. tho saying so , sometimes it kept slipping my mind that i do not carry myself as a soldier . as someone whom will protect the country. i look back and i realise the importance of all these . the importance of protecting ur loved ones , the significance behind it . this country is all i have , the only one that i have. today , tml , infinite days ahead. POP LOH!

someday i will venture out of the nest . to look for greener pasture. to explore new territories and uncover new things. someday i will make it big . someday .....

ns experience is once in a life time. u get to know many many people , just when u think u knew them all , u turn a corner , u find another interesting fellow leading an extraordinary life. they are your buddies . buddies that u will sacrifice ur life protecting and in return sacrifice his to cover ur back.

in tekong i knew my buddy . tho not in contact so often , i still miss him . every now and then , i think of memories of bmt , i remember him. someone whom is tough on the outside and soft on the inside lolz. he has the strength of steel and the heart of gold. someone whom places friendship infront of many other things . we shared cigarettes , maggi mee , ration and wonderful memories. we came out with many fantastic ideas , to keng , to slack , to run away from lessons and to steal a puff .

there was once when we were deperately out of cigarettes , he will try way and means to find one . while i will beg and steal . in the end we would quietly sneak into the smoking point , fearful of leeches and share that precious stick we had.

i remember the time when i had high fever . 39.5 . he was the one whom gave me the fever patch , fill my water bottle and scold me out of bed to bathe. he was the one whom took care of me when i was sick .

he is my friend , my bunk mate , my buddy

thats BMT life . then came FLC , flight line crew . airforce sch . here i learnt many valuable technical lessons. technical know-how to the aircraft . here i made friends . friends whom will crack stupid jokes and friends whom are all out to go after a girl. there are the smart ones and the not so smart ones. the ultimate introvert and the outspoken extrovert. there are also understanding mentor and quality demanding officers.

in AFS i opted to stay in . never looked back ever since. in staying in , i learn independent. i learn how to conquer fear , my own fear. i experience ultimate loneliness and joyful gatherings. i learnt time management , which didnt turn out that well .. and ultimately i learnt kinship. i began to love my mum's cooking and i miss lan gaming with my brother.

every day is a learning day . everyone u meet is here to teach you something ......
---------------------------------------------------------------------

heh! thats abt all abt ns . =) yet again its POP LOH! tml will be my last day at AFS . wad lies ahead is still unknown . =) more things to learn and more people to meet i guess...

A B A B A B .... choices u make in life. i set out with a neutral heart. hoping to make more friends , to broaden my circle of friends. i fear one day the circle will start strinking . becoming smaller and smaller till i end up with no friends. i tried keeping up with other ppl's life . in the end i realise . it aint that simple . aint that simple at all . i ended up being A .

A is the one whom thinks if he is determined to make friends , nothing will happen . neither do he want to fall in love . cos he realise love aint mean anything after all.

wad does one get out of love ? hatred , betrayal , penniless , emotion stress , basically nothing. or perhaps if u ask , wad does one hope/want to get out of a relationship . then comes in a different equation with love , ego , sex , money ..... many many other things.

A aint the one going after anything. he needed no love nor did he need to fill some ego . sex and money are ridiculous to him. then he came into a conclusion. why bother getting into love now where neither can u afford the money nor the time. so he decided . make more friends.

and he went about knowing more people and keeping more often in contact. not knowing one day he would fall for someone whom he tot impossible all along. ridiculous right? now he is back to the problem he started off avoiding.

it aint doing anyone good . so he suffered in silence plus emotion crisis .

lolz . thats the story of A . A for stupid , childish thinking . A for thinking in such a simple way ending up making a fool of himself .

he could just look in the reflection and laugh at himself . booo.

----------------------------------------------------------

lolz . thats more or less abt it . lolz .. funny funny .

samu

dragon pl 2 : we had wonderful memories . now we are seperated . someday we shall meet up right?

rondeau 21 : its wonderful! superb performance . but just under-performed ticket sales.

tang! : be safe and return to spore kz! MMM and CC !! remember!

samu : HAHAHAHAHA

embracing armyhood

2006-06-02T01:47:00.000+08:00

** 0144hrs **

woot! i shall be off to tekong soon. T minus 8 hours 16 minutes. =)

this is not the end . its just the beginning. =)

samuuu

chiu kewei shuang : take a breathe of it when u miss me *winkz*

bin pete ming fatt merrill : cheers guys! hooo ha!

i didnt geveryone else whom et in ! contact before entering : i will be out in 2 weeks . for the week end . hooo hah! woooo

** i am a cca gold acheivement awardee , a lousy scholar with GPA 2.9 =D woooo! **

Forcefully awoke III

2006-05-18T05:21:00.000+08:00

** 0525hrs **

** eto'o **

** lemon .-_- **

alrights. its finalised . spain will be having their celebration. barcelona 2 Arsenal 1 . three cheers for the spanish play ! booooz for the foolish lemon act!

concert is approaching . tsk . many many last min surprises . sigh . lets just hope. hope for the better. or hope for the best of worst . =\ shrugs .

i am drained! from everything. too many things are undone and too many loop holes uncovered. this is a fabulous team yet so many problems. sigh. i just wish for the best.

at least the guy from prata house finally got his nasi goreng ikan billis right. woooo! at least .....

at least kewei is still functioning well. i cant imagine if she falls ill or got herself into inaction. too many players down with injury. too many things left undone. sighz .

sorry i had nothing much to talk abt other than the up coming concert. its the only thing that occupies me . tho i am not playing , i try my best to focus on the concert's operation. lolz . yes i know ... why ask u to come for my concert when i am not playing . =x i was supposed to play de. but kengwee came along. a better player to support the section and the band as a whole . so why not? and much help will be needed with the operations. lionel cant run the whole show alone right? so here i am . assistant stage manager/ operations manager! =) nice name i got myself eh. lolz. at least give me a nice title? for so much effort put in . *wink*

argh . i cant stop thinking abt arsenal defeat. they just had to hold on for another 13 mins and its theirs . argh! why did lemon do the stupid act? lolz perhaps if he didnt do it , there may still be extra time . considering campbell still did his wonderful header. then at least theres something there ya know? WHY? -_- unpredictable ending! lolz like all things in life.

alrights. thats abt all the updates . =\ i shall be off to complete my instruction sheet for the concert. yes! the concert again! please come for the concert if u haven buy a ticket alright? to reward the hard work put in by the team. =)

oh ya . i forgot to add . the name of the girl was not colin . lolz due to the noise and chatters in the music room , i couldnt get her name right . her name is ko sin . lolz and she wore the batman slippers from teh clubhouse back home. i offered her and she accepted it . *smacks forehead.* apparently her slippers broke . and she attempted to glue it back with white glue. eh? while glue!!! omg! and she stayed quite far can. and it was not a slipper .it was more like a bedroom footwear. those u wear at home . cushy cushy kind . omg! -_- interesting year ones we have . lolz

btw , the latest sales from what i heard have rose over 400 already . lolz sounds good . better than what i expect but still not enough. we can do it together guys . more more!

samuuu uuuu uuu uu u

pnc 06 team : jiayouz! ooosh!

circle b : theres two side the coin . u forgot the other.

xl : tho i not performing , u have to come and see what the team has acheived! oosh!

tang : when are we ever going to see each other . and when will i get my hands on the vodka? lolz

kewei : ur the best. u are doing just fine! some more tickets ok?

leen : tho u not helping us le , we still thank u for putting in the effort! =) cheers!

daryl (emcee) : thanks for putting us in this situation. no worries.

me : cough cough

forcefully awake II

2006-05-06T10:25:00.000+08:00

** 1025hrs **

** forcefully awake II **

its early in the morning 1025am . and i have merely managed 5 hours of sleep , 6 max . -__- its taking its toll on me tho.

while waiting for the iron to warm up , let me tell u a story . story of L2 - puking girl. i meant puke-ing girl . lolz

we had a group of 5 young ladies coming in for a drink ytd . apparently one of them - jolin had too much to drink and started puking and started mumbling crazy stuffs. o.O got ur attention?

actually nothing happened much . but i saw them at eski bar shortly after harry's close for the day . wooooo.... they yearn for a drink eh? lolz

so here comes the moral of the story . when is the last time u get out and truely release urself . release urself from the reality world and take a little stroll into the selfless realm. everybody deserves a break . thats what i told allan . indeed. working 6 days a week and till late every day, the body needs a break .

so get out ! release ur self enjoy. enjoy the "polling" day. enjoy ur progre$$ money! =) have fun! while i slog at harrys today. -_- i am going to work at 7 and now i am heading to sch. hur hur .

samuuu

release urself! NOW!

tang : prawn prawn prawn , talk talk talk , talk prawn!

ming : CBK CBK CBK CBK CBK . neh!

me : sleep sleep sleep sleep

forcefully awake

2006-05-05T03:27:00.000+08:00

** 0330hrs **

** where am i ? **

** where will i be? **

i am blogging two times a day! ( a day will start only after u sleep. ) yes. its the timing issue brought up by ming wei again..*waves* blah blah blah. and i agree with pete that a day only end after sleeping . tsk ..

the japanese roof for the booth is finally up! *cheers* ... designed and made by the lionel team. ( me lionel and pete ... ) lolz .. cool eh ! i will up load the pics tml! however there are some issues to be solved . the integrity of the building , the placement of sign and bamboo shoots .. lolz .. it realli look like a japanese tea hut . and all band members .. please do not tamper with the little hut .. its our sweat and blood. and someone still insist that the lantern looks more suitable for funerals .

taking about funerals. i am having a wake of a neighbour below my block. someone whom i dont even remember seeing in the block . well , not a surprise , considering the time i reach home everyday . o.O

so today while waiting for my turn for the pool cue , i came out with an business idea. to open a company that caters to concert band and performing groups. to provide printing , designing , production and recording .. sounds like a wonderful business idea and when i was about to move to my business plan , wenbin came in and told me there is a company providing this service . well.. there goes my money-making scheme.

looks like i am stuck being a worker all my life . -_-

got to know this two freshies while i am doing my japanese hut , peiwen , colin? ( i hope i got it right?) yes yes ... i hear pete , bin , ming and fatt . -_- what made me comment so much about them is their attitude . the way they talk reflects so much about the present generation , not that i do not belong in that generation but i believe they are totally in a different catergory as my generation is . well ... i just cant explian it . alrights . i shall not say anymore . lest the gang will start questioning me again with the " what are u up to this time? " look .. * innocent*

now there was another pair of freshies which made me so dissapointed . apparently they are trying to pick up flute playing . so they were seated in the clubhouse . all the present band members are playing in the music room so there wasnt anyone to teach them. this blame the system. but! they were yanking all the time in the clubhouse talking abt irrelevant things . doing everything else than learning how to play flute.

i overheard a snips of the conversation . wasnt very clear with the details tho ..

girl A asks girl B " so do you know how to play the flute? " ( dumb qns ! if she knew she would not be sitting here already.)

girl B " er... i got piano grade 1 , violin grade 2 .....er... and organ grade 5 . but my flute grade 0 " (dohz . bitch! . she isnt answering the question.)

girl C sat there and listened to the conversation , i assume she has got nothing to say tho .. lolz . =\

so so .. after a few moments . girl B and C whom are friends , i suppose .. came up to me and lionel and said they are going off . reason : flute is too difficult to learn already . the end .

today i came across two different group of youngsters. and i came to a conclusion . what makes u different aint the looks . the thing that realli matters is ur attitude! wooo... and so after awhile this freshie came in to join the band . she has got no music background. but becos she had braces . so we were unsure if we would accept her . so we told her the problem with playing with braces. she didnt walk off . so we suggested her to play other instruments . ( brass instruments are painful for braces according to lionel ) due to the lack of instruments , we ended up allocating her to flute. she gladly accepts and cant wait till the practice starts. i see a great attitude here. a true learning attitude! aint it wonderful? *applause*

remember i said earlier in teh afternoon? everyone here is to teach you a lesson. the freshies i met today taught me many tho i didnt offer much to them. they taught me the importance of attitude.

samuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

peiwen , colin , braces girl ( sorry i didnt get her name =x) : three cheers for positive learning attitude

girl B , girl C : shooo... *boooo* smack wack slap!

pete : congrats for walking out of the darkness . it looks like my turn is coming soon . =x

ming : CBK! wahahahhaa

japanese hut : stay strong!!! u have to survive till 20th may! hang in there alrights?

me : *yawns*

watch this space

japanese roofs and wake lanterns ...

2006-05-04T16:19:00.000+08:00

** 1620hrs **
** lifeless **
** 2nd of June ... **

i was in the midst of typing one very nice story of a man.. a man whom inspired me greatly through his life experience...

every one you meet everyday is here to teach u a lesson

perhaps his story should not be posted . this is a story only to be told by the man himself . for it is he who knows it better than anyone else. his life told me many things. the only definate thing on earth is change. change is ever present and is here to stay. it will pounce on you when u lets ur guard down. and even if u are constantly preparing urself to change , it will find its way around and deliver a blow from ur back.

we live today like tomorrw never exist.

he woke me up . all the things i still hold on to turn into dust instantly. what is left behind are a handful or memories. painful memories . happy moments. dissapointing events of my life. on the day you are going to lose everything , its everything you are going to lose. its the things you hold on to , the lesser u hold on to , the lesser u are going to lose..

today - tomorrow's yesterday , yesterday's tomorrow.

alrights . something on a lighter note. the date of enlistment is drawing nearer and nearer. lawfatt even keep count of the days till 2nd of june. we stopped at 32 days few days ago . *smirk*. it will arrive someday and i am going to survive anyhow anywhere.

its going to be concert day on 20th of may . pops and classics - One Night In Japan. tremendous effort have been put into getting the show running.. the fabulous people behind the scenes tryign to get everything done . *applause* they have been doing a great job. they are a bunch of people who knows how to do , just no one to tell them what to do. many setbacks proves to bring everyone tighter together . lets just hope everythign turns out fine on the 20th.

i am still holding on to it . i know it . i just cant seemed to forget all teh happy moments together. 1 month prove too little too much. too little time too much shit. great. wadever it is , she seemed to be having much better a time than me . thats good. thats wad we all set out to do in the beginning. wanting the other to be happy.

it is no longer just holding hands and kissing. it has moved to a spritual stage where two hearts connect. its an irony indeed. *snorts*

samu

PnC 06 team : all the way dudes. * woosh*

the man : i will remember the story of yours everyday of my life.

jaslyn kho : happi birthday !

tang : talk talk talk talk talk talk

pete : chip chip chip munk munk munk

bin & ming : i just finish uploading 19 episodes of prison break into sony walkman. =D it took me frigging 2 hours can! -_-

lionel : good job for the booth .. we still have 4 big words ya? -_-

this is very very funny

2006-04-22T06:20:00.000+08:00

http://www.rahoi.com/2006/03/may-i-take-your-order.php

found on mr brown .

cheers

samu

soaked coasters and yellow paperbacks

2006-04-22T04:10:00.000+08:00

** 0410hrs **

** Margaritta Ice , Singapore Slide Uh........ **

what inhumane timing it is to be still awake .. heh! welcome to the life of a night job waiter! wooo... basically this is the life i lead for the past month . time just sneaks away from u when u didnt notice . i just hate the upside down time. owls! hooot! u just dont feel like doing anything when u wake up . zzz .. and the time u wake up is already 3? 4? half of the day just gone! u miss the time together with ur loved ones and ur friends. people start to drift away . ur loved ones got neglected. =\ argh.. i need the job . i need the money . thats the many things that u have to sacrifice tho .. -_- .. i just detest it ...

nevertheless , time spent in harrys is happening. well ... at least today it was. ! lolz eye opener! of cos .. the people there are fun to be with and they are good teachers. allan and andy, two unique individuals whom i have never came across! lolz . taught me many valuable lessons after lessons. =) cheers!

andy " wu hao tai! lai na gou qu "

allan " no worries.... "

charles " ku man tong ... " (chuckles)

nany " huh? where got!!! ... " o.O

ben " har? ask them go else where la... " (lolz)

lolz .. yeah .. thats what they always like to say .. o.O very unique people.

everyone u meet is here to teach u something ... learn from them and learn it well .. =)

so basically thats what happening ..

*ding ding ding *

everyone out there!!! samu is going into ns on the 2nd of june!!! *gasps!*

hu ha hu ha ! yellow boxes and cabbage patch helmet! i realli look forward to be inside. i am a sick person. tho a not disciplined bum , i would like my life to be disciplined! i can survive in a imposed discipline life but not a self imposed discipline life . alrights! i know its not making sense. i dont , to begin with. =D *laughs* -_-

i am losing the ability to type a well constructed blog entry due to the lack of updating. =\ i am guilty of not maintaining my blog and filling it with many many entries. and i just realise when i blog , i usually blog the unnecessary or the un happy moments. perhaps the happiest are left to be blogged in memories and remembered forever. the not important ones are all here! wooo!

i think blogging is essential to humans. it makes u accountable for the things u have done in the past and to prevent further re-ocurrence . accountability is the word! lolz ... samu 101 ... u have nothing to prove to but urself! everyday is a challenge not to beat the opponent. its to overcome the me in u !

thats about all that is happening now. and i am left with 1 and 1/4 month to go till ns. =) cheers!

I NEED A BOOK! i need something to read! yooohooo? someone please send me a book? i have finished all the books i have at home already? and i re-read all more than once? YOU! who still owe me my birthday present , please send a nice book to this following address..... *flash address* ..hur hur .. not very funny ... i need a book!

please call 1800-samuneedbook ..

press 1 to donate 3 books

press 2 to donate 5 books

press 0 to speak to our operater

( whom will never answer the call , they always seemed to be busy at the moment... -_-)

* all calls are subjected to 5% gst , 10% service charge and prevailing government taxes! ( i never figured out what does this mean ... o.O )

i dont get it .. what do u mean by prevailing government taxes .. i have seen it in many places... =\ in restuarants and many other places .. =\ lolz

Main Entry: pre·vail

Pronunciation: pri-'vA(&)l

Function: intransitive verbEtymology: Middle English, from Latin praevalEre, from prae- pre- + valEre to be strong -- more at WIELD

1 : to gain ascendancy through strength or superiority : TRIUMPH

2 : to be or become effective or effectual

3 : to use persuasion successfully

4 : to be frequent : PREDOMINATE

5 : to be or continue in use or fashion : PERSIST

lolz .. beats me .. =x this is confusing ..

lolz .. at the time of typing this crap call thing , few things came into my mind . super star series , donation calls , services charges and the risk of being charged in court for publishing explicit political articles!

yup! being charged! i just read the article on cna web about posting political contents on the web during election period. woohooo! cool! =) *keeps very very quiet ... =x* in short i just wish to live in a racial harmonic society with a very stable economy and a well runned government! ( i would score well for my CME ! ) hahha ..=x deep down i just love this country! woohooo!

alrights ...

i shall sleep already ! nites !

samu ..

allan , andy : wu hao tai? no worries...

pw , gary , sy : sorry for not being there always tho ... someday we shall meet up ! =)

kw ,chiu , shuang: 1800-samuneedbook

xl : call me =)

** no worries !!! **

still server room and rubbery foosball

2006-02-17T12:28:00.000+08:00

** 0125hrs **
** yeah ... its finally ending ...**
** somehow it just ended **

woot! its T minus 11hours and 30mins to the ENDING of the attachment!! WOOOGOOO! long live freedom and damn the work culture!

yeah .. i shall KISS .. tired . zzz .. long day ahead . and i have a test scheduled tml.. and i have yet to touch a bit at all .. darn! zzz

so today was teh second last day of work .. and it was spent normally ... hahaa and i finally found out that the server room is a nice place to nap in.. omg! if i could have realize it earlier...!!! -_-

then we ha many extended foosball games . ending with a promise to come back time to time for a game or two of foos! hahaha

ok .. i am duper exhausted drained .. i shall go sleep .. goodie nite!

samu ....

chewy and kewei : YEAH! IAP ending le! can spend more time out le! zzz

ampersand : teh sun teh sea and teh sand! =)

u : anything ....

broken roses and flowery noodles

2006-02-15T00:39:00.000+08:00

**1235..**
** wad a day ..**

soo sooo .. yea its vday . and i am uber tired. not becos of the v .. but tired becos of the day! =) i shall keep this entry short .

attachment ends this friday! cheers!

today was spent with two wonderful single friends . to celebrate singlehood in the sea of roses and hand holdings =) and i realize it is very bad to go out in threes today! cos its very hard to get a table of threes ! took us an hour to get a table! tsk . so the day was filled with laughter and understanding.. and ribbon tieing ...

and most importantly .. we spent a wonderful time on the mrt .. skipping from door to door that is .. =D

thats all .. someday i will write in ful details .. perhaps when i am in the office .. hahaha =) bleahz...

nitez all!

sam ....u
u is getting further and further away.

to those whom i hav no time for this vday! happy vday! u guys ought to receive a flower(girls) and hug(guys!) *gayished*

deprived

2006-01-19T00:44:00.000+08:00

** 0050hrs **
** sleep **

ok great . i am supposed to wake up like 7 later? and its wad? 1 already. great. -_-

muahahha .. i am the sleepless god eh. yeah . argh . boo yeah duh pui yuke eeee er .. wadever . =\ heheh

ok . great CNY is approaching and i have yet to get my things done. =\ i need lotsa time. i need proper time management lessons! hah!

great and i just made someone pissed at me. now i am EEE with a big M . EEEM ego emo elmo with a big MOUTH! well . sorry if i reaalli did made u feel terrible for wad i said. =\ sorry sorry .. u are good enough to stand my whining already. yet i brought up the past and hurt u like tt. =\

i shall keep my mouth shut now and not say anything!

out for a walk . perhaps a jog? wadever it is . just wan to be alone and all. wads wrong with me actually . u tell me . leave a tag , give me a call , msg me. contact me!

samu
EEEM

me: i seriously do not know who the heck u are now. u realli need to think about wad went wrong today. u idiot...

turmoil

2006-01-17T13:32:00.000+08:00

** 1335hrs **
** attachment kills **
** nothing heals **

attachment kills. crap! i am slogging my life away in this darn company now. Using the computer given to me to type this blog. -_- i am super fustrated with what is happening in my life now.

yeah i know attachment is a good way to learn new things and do all the practical shit. and i understand that in order for me to get my diploma , i have to finish my attachment ! isnt that great. cornered! it wastes so much of my time. well .. a lot of the reason why things turn out this way is becos of attachment. i cant go anywhere and all. when i am free , no one is free. when i am not , everyone else is having a great time.

alright . i shall not push all the blame to attachment. i know i had my fair share of skipping work. i know wad i am doing and i know it isnt right. like wad the guy from SWS said. the notes and dynamics are there, why do u still play wrong? u take no effort in making sure u play correctly. if its there and you should make sure u play it correctly. yeah .

now everything is there and i know it . but i just cant do anything abt it. alright , i admit its all about that matter. well.. to think of it , the problem may not even lie in not having enuff time to go out. it may well lie in the fact that i am just not good enuff for u. i seriously do not know wad it going on. i hav no idea of wad went wrong and wad went right. zz

so great. now it seems like i am blaming the whole world except me. who doesnt . like wads new here right? *sigh* terrible depression i should say. -_-

then theres the looming worries abt NS . yeah i call it national slimming. great. i look forward to going in and fight it out with my body. push it to the limit. over if requires. its the things that i am going to loss that i aint feeling good about.

now look. i have to postpone my further studies plan to go into ns. great eh! i know my results will get me no where. but i know if u put me into some university and do my shit i will do my best. i aint doing any better now! then to think of it , NS gives u the mind training to remain discipline. well i lack that. i admit. see the contradict here? i dread ns for dragging my time yet i know i will not do as well in U without the mind conditioning of NS . =\ the turmoil is intolerable. haiz.

its all about doing it at the right time in the right condition eh.

i know i am fat. i know i cant do sports for nuts. i know i know i know. yet i am not doing anything to fix the problem. helpless. i know fat makes me look ugly , i do not like it as much as u do. appearence is important. first impression is paramount. i lack discipline.

great.

superb.

i hate to wait for things to happen. like waiting for ur answer . like waiting for attachment to end. like waiting for everyone to get back to me. i hate waiting. and i have a great waiting plan of 2 years ahead of me.

sometimes i realli admire how gary can take it so well. at least he is doing fine with what he is doing now. i suppose? =
great. enough of whinning. i still have tons of work to do now. like doing my final report. and many other things .

I DISLIKE MY LIFE NOW! I HATE THE SITUATION I AM IN! KILL ME

samu
wait.

me : u is the only reason why i am still holding on and never give up.

u stands for university
u stands for the unconditional care
u stands for everything abt u
u is u .

I K E A

2006-01-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

** 0015hrs **
** IKEA Of Sweden **
** wait **

yuppie . i went ikea yet again. to do shopping for things for my room. to usher into the lunar new year with new things. =) hahah . and i realize my bed can be made to a king sized bed all thanks to lu . yeah. like two single bed add together u get king size bed. =) i am a king now! cos i sleep in a king sized bed! woooo!

so yeah .. she acc me to buy my stuffs . =) so i bought .. new sheets , tealight cups , spot light bulbs and a rack . yeah .. all those stuffs .. not much .. spent abt $30 lor .. =\ me is broke soon. =
so so .. nothing much to say today tho ..

xcept . i cleared all my laundry today! wooo! like 3-4 loads of clothes into the machine .. muahahah . and i cleared my room! and i let the sucker fish back to clean the tank! =D . then put it back to confinement ! =) lest it starts killing my darling gold fishes ! eeekz .. i sound gay! =D

thats all .

samu
waiting.

me : u are dumb!

u : no matter wad comes ahead , i will still love ya ... i dont care!

love ya lots worr ...

smell of sweat and a million other pops ..

2006-01-15T03:22:00.000+08:00

** 0330hrs **
** *pop* **
** wei wei ..... **

so as i said earlier , i will turn up for band . and actually on time! well .. 1335 is already counted as on time for me . tho it officially starts at 1330 . hehehe .. =p so band was duper boring today. well .. not realli so on the other hand if u consider playing lord of the rings. lolz . i got the feel for the higher register already. still not quite there yet . still a long way to go man.

well .. its simply irritating to sit in for band nowadays. indeed it have improved. but it is still as irritating. we tubes have to sit in and listen to the mistakes and the replays. and when someone makes a mistake , we tubes just have to stop and wait for our turn to play crochet and minim . and count our blardy rests . how fun ! tubist are the highest paid member of an orchestra. considering the pay divided by the amount of notes we play , our pay will be darn high i must say! and we have the most rest time! how about that! interested parties please apply over here! .... even after so many good points , its still waiting and waiting . and pausing and waiting .

waiting

waiting

waiting

waiting

waiting

waiting....

yeah ... and still waiting.

YES! STOP MAKING STUPID MISTAKES COS I AM STILL WAITING!

W A I T I N G !!!!

yeah . thats all i am gonna wait. so i walked out of the room for a smoke and a breath of fresh air. ... arh ... and i returned just in time for 5th movement. hobbits. =) nice song. and tubes have to aim for the note 2 octave higher .. and yeah . i made a fool out of myself! tho i tried. but still not there yet eh! =)

so after band . we had to wait for meeting to end. well .. i never knew waiting for a meeting to end can be so irritating. well .. i never was at the waiting end of this whole meeting thing. i am always the one inside . not outside. hur hur . so we went off to have dinner at azhar. then to chinatown.

woooo! have fun squezzing man! at this point of time , we were STUCK in the human traffic. this poor child in spiderman clothes have to endure this shit can! stuck int he traffic in sweat and all. and i can see that he is tired. i tried to offer him some mua chee .. but he ignored me. all he wanted was some fun at the night markets. in the end he might not even come here the next year. and the year after .. and many decades later. can u imagine the trauma this kid is taking. omg! cant they just move their stalls a lil backwards so that people can pass thru the space. the length of the walkway was just enuff for 4 ppl . MAX! thats it .. and u have a million people walking thru there! it took us 15 mins to walk a distance of 30m? OMG! all we wanted was some fun at the night markets. yeah .. some fun indeed. -_-

so we discovered this fabulous toy ! this gun popping thing! where the confetti will be popped out of the gun shaped thing. and the confetti are all stored in bullets kind of thing. omg! and u change the thing like how u reload a .38 ! omg! thats creative . a very saleable product i must say! or rather a very exaggerated way of littering the floor.

so after that , we headed home . and on our way home , we saw a huge group of bikers. like going for an outing kind! and we followed them from AYE to 99 turns , to kent ridge park . like altogether theres 20 over bikes there. omg! thats rather cool tho .. =) *cheers*

yeah on the way back , ji mo bian jie sounded again . hur. think there is nothing more to hide tho . alot of people knows wads going on. paper cant hold back any fire . well .. if u realli don want people to knw .. then ... well ... thats impossible bah . hard. tsk .. well .. wad can i say . =
indeed . wad can i realli say?

i think i have fallen too deeply le lah!

too deep too pull myself out le .

love ya lots!

samu
so is there anything that i can say?

lu : aint everything can be bought with money . tho i know the importance of money , there are realli many things that u can do with money. like u cant pay to make someone fall in love with u . like u cant pay to feel less guilty for hurting someone. get me?

the kid in spiderman dressing whom was traumatized by what happened today : smile! =) theres still a long way to go for u .

pw : u must have gone thru shit these few days man. i dont know .. but hang in there ya? remember ur dreams! remember how hard was it for u to come this far? u can make it! jiayouz!

chiu : i dont know wad i did to make u so pissed off . dont be so angry to me ok? sorry .. for wadever i did to make u so pissed off .. =\ i still dont know ...

u : *MUACKZ!*

i dreamt of losing u last night. and i never dared to go back to sleep after that.
i felt so helpless. i wasnt able to rescue u tho . =perhaps its just a dream after all . =yeah . and the monster whom chased us is stupid! =D DUMB! hahahaaahaa

ma po tou fu and the sour back

2006-01-14T02:05:00.000+08:00

**0210hrs**
** sweet deserts and a thousand many words **
** so i mattered afterall =) **

so so .. it was yutang bday afterall on teh 13th of jan .. yeah .. i still believe its 15 . =) . she has one of the hardest to forget bday tho .. 13/1 .. donno why . =) i have a bad memory for bday tho . like i couldnt remember alot of dates .. alot of important dates that mattered last time , i couldnt remember at all . i just simply couldnt . =\ it means somthing eh? .. o.O

so the day started off with a fabulous desert a the sun with moon . =\ a strange name tho . but the desert is superb i must say. the combi of sweetness and richness. sour mango and ice tunnels all .. interesting. had a few interesting talk with cheryl and yt . and i have found the answer to my own qns also . -_- yeah .. its always that isnt it =)

so we proceed on to lao beijing.. which until now i still think is a bad choice . a bad choice for a gathering of 13 ppl to be more specific .. terrible .. -_- so had the cake cutting and all .. nice bah . but just wrong place witht he wrong people. =\ heheh anyway .. happy birthday to cheeery bubbly tutty winky yt! =)

so so .. the day ended with two jugs of apple something. and a head full of loud conversations. its realli super packed and u have to raise ur voice to even talk normally . liek .. SO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? HELLO?

yeah .. something like tt happened today . aint it great . and i spent have spent a bomb already. when i aint got a bullet in my bank . sad case.

so ji mo bian jie rang today . thrilled . but it brought in more and more confusion. well .. at least i finally know hello kitty has got no mouth and doremon has got no ears . o.O wad a weird fact . -_-

yep .. and its tube samu on duty tml! yeah! i shall take over the duty from eugene and jas. aint it great. when i am suppose to rest and enjoy my saturday at home? =) but well .. i volunteeered . i miss band! i miss making music with everyone.. =\ music is love! =)

nitez all . thats all i am going to write tho! =) have a pleasent day ahead tho . if any is left that is .

samu

yt : happi birthday ! and happi birthday . so happi birthday . thats happi birthday!

cheryl and yt : lets talk again over wonderful food

13 other ppl who were there for lao beijing! : the fish that i cut had got no bone in it if u realise! =)

744 : cookies are friends , not food

u : 5683 968 5687 ... 682259!

GOTCHA! there aint any hidden msg today! =p

寂寞边界

2006-01-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

我们之间闯进了贼偷走相爱的一切
逼得我们伤痕累累
分手只流两行泪

你说决定错了无所谓就算后悔也不要我陪
爱得平淡爱得浓烈都让你憔悴我怎么做你都拒绝

我来到寂寞边界爱已失窃心在淌著血
男人的无尽伤痛都锁进黑夜
面对背叛用了解还是谅解寂寞边界伤心人还有谁

我们之间闯进了贼偷走相爱的一切
爱让我们伤痕累累
结局只流两行泪
你说决定错了无所谓就算后悔也不要我陪
爱得平淡爱得浓烈都让你憔悴我怎么做你都拒绝
我来到寂寞边界爱已失窃心在淌著血
男人的无尽伤痛都锁进黑夜
面对背叛用了解还是谅解寂寞边界伤心人
我来到寂寞边界爱已失窃心在淌著血
男人的无尽伤痛都锁进黑夜
面对背叛用了解还是谅解寂寞边界伤心人还有谁

我来到寂寞边界爱已失窃心在淌著血
过去的无尽伤痛都锁进黑夜面对爱情用时间收拾破碎
寂寞边界伤心人已学会安慰

so this is just that this isnt that

2006-01-07T00:31:00.000+08:00

** 0035hrs **
** campbell cream of mushroom **
** complicated **

2006? yeah i am not going to write abt my new year resolution and my past year stuffs. one : i know the next day i will forget wad my resolution is . it will be resolved ! =D two : the past year has got too many things to write . for more information , pls refer to previous entry. =) see? i summarized in a few simple sentences!

i had a head spinning weekend with the two flowers in my life. we simply entertained each other over drinks . and laugh at each other the next day! wonderful experience for us tho! =) shall not share the details! we shall keep it a secret and let it live only in our memories ya? *wink* love u two woor!!! so whens the next time we meet up again? wohooo! no flower earrings and flaming alcohol! =)

so so .. had a wonderful exclusive for 7 bbq at sy house! woohoo .. the food was wonderful ! cos i did the marination! =D nice worr! =) and many other nice food . the potato salad with precious hand peeled crab stick from sy ! be surprised! =D duhz . had great quality time with the tays ! =) aud and edwin were great in entertaining ppl tho! 6mins of celebration into new yeear ! =D hahaha that sure was great =)

well.. i have no mood to type any further till this point! i just realise a great flaw in me! yeah . it all started off with me! so beat it ! ask no more . just be happy i typed so long for u guys to read! right? perhaps another day i shall write more!

samu
yeah so i m realli incomplete without u
everything just realli doesnt matter afterall .

xmas xmas xmas xmas

2005-12-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

** 1018hrs **

** busy busy busy busy **

** samu isnt complete without u **

yeah yeah ! so so .. its been a long time eh? =) many many little things happen these days tho. i am officially retired out of npband! =) well ... i do still go back for practices cos i agreed to do so . yeah. or rather we agreed to do so . to make sure nothing screws up . well , i think this is not necessary anymore right? *raises eyebrows*

well well .. uncle lim is officially retired also. bin was telling me today that he stills come back now and then. or rather everyday. he misses work. kinda sad tho. things happening here and there inside SDAR. =\ well well .. i believe no matter where you work . as long as you feel happy and communication isnt a problem at all then go for it? well ... life isnt that forgiving eh? =\ i wonder wad happens one day when i retire... perhaps lie on the beach bench read a book, perhaps now and then go teach ? =) that will be cool eh? heheheh bleahz

life in SAM is getting worse and worse . terrible i should say. i feel lethagic to go to work and all .. =\ argh .. sadded . =\ boohooo! *ARGH*

isnt much for me to rant tho . but samu is still a happy man i should say! yes , sad came into my life recently . it just came . like that. and left like tt! =) so samu is happy now! woohooooo!

oh yeah! xmas was realli great at shuang house i should say! =) tho anywhere is good with good food and company =) hahaha . shuang de mum is a superb cook i should say! i cant get enough of her food . but due to the limited capacity of my tummy , i couldnt stuff it all in! argh .. =\ but it was great. turkey , spag , curry , puffs ! wooohoo! *bows to mrs heng!* =)

so happy to see jean enjoy herself tho. but its like we left ehr out lah . =\ ok .. thats my fault! i tot it would be nice for everyone to have fun together. perhaps we dont understand people of her age bah. =\ *shrugs* =)

then towards teh end a few hiccups tho. but i think eventually it was solved .. sorry to kewei and jas tho .. i didnt expect it to turn out this way u know .. =\ ok .. its my fault again .. this i admit lah. but eventually we had a great time at kewei house right? =D and jas de piggy fell asleep early lah! omg! miss princess pig! lolz so me kewei and shuang talked till it rained. and then it was my turn to snore le . =\ i went to dream room 8787 and met her! =D nice dreams and all . =x bleahz

so so .. thats xmas . celebration.. lolz rox eh? =)

this xmas is cool! filled with joy and laughters and many many m&ms .. *grinz* =p and many stars too right? *wink* hehehe so so .. god is good to me . he blessed me with wonderful friends and company! =)

sometimes its kinda fustrating to be hanging up in the mid air tho. =\ i seriously dont know wad are u thinking lor . =\ but nevertheless , i will still be there for u! U U U U U U U ! =D bleahz . merry xmas worr! =D hope u like the gift hunt! =) bleahz

samu

(samu isnt complete without u)

shuang: thanks a million for hosting the party yeah? hope ur mum like her garlic presser ! and i will never wear anything with socks to ur house anymore! *hurmpz*

bin , fatt , ming : u pundehs! tho life in np band is coming to an end , but our everlasting friendship has just started! =D *eekz* kinda rou ma tho. *gets high* woooohooo!

kewei , chiu! : tho u two didnt appreciate the effort i took to write nice characters on ur gifts! but i hope u two will shine like a star this xmas ya? sweet dreams to chiu too! =D wooot wooot!

jas: u princess pigggy! woot woot .. just sit sit there wait ppl serve u arh! o.O hope u like ur xmas gift hunt tho! =) *hugs*

ampersand: yeah! u are not forgotten tho! i wanted to have a mahjiong session de. but kinda last min tho! but anyway merry xmas yeah? btw u going for the 29th thingy?

me : U ARE OFFICIALLY BROKE! SPEND LESS AND BEG MORE! duh!

u : exams coming le . u better start studying tho ... rest more too! *serves liang cha* =D love ya lots *muackz*

*** 96 roses and counting ! ***

bart the naughty dog .

2005-12-12T00:07:00.000+08:00

** 1210hrs **
** burps .. bart stole the chicken!**
** over our dead bodies even before u think of breaking up the band! **

weee~ samu just came back from "fearless" five de bbq!!! (manda named us the fearless five .. she made it all up! we the other four are innocent!) so so .. we had lots of fun lah! and we had a debrief of wad we did the last year .. =\ so so .. quite sad tho! long live "fearless" five!

so so . supposingly theres food for cheng de .. then bart the naughty dog jumped on the table!! and stole the chicken! now i suppose hes still locked in the toilet le bah... =\ for stealing the chicken .. =\ poor dog ..

so many things happened in the band after we left . its merely 3 weeks after rondeau . this is dissapointing i must say . =\ we worked so hard to bring up ourselves .. then there u are trying to destroy everything .. this is realli very sad i must say . haiz .. we slogged like hell every day to plan this plan that . we sacrifice many things along the way. =\ now u guys wan to wreck havoc ? over our dead bodies ! BOOO! we made u guys like how we can break u guys . argh!

at this point of time samu is still a happy man! yeah .. u r right! after so long , samu is still happy! yeah yeah!!

--------------------------
woot! now the time is 2016hrs . 27th dec! =D wooohoo it took me like 15 days to finish a post! wahahahah ... ok .. thats like 9+ days ! at least i am faster than anyother agency! which needs two weeks of process time! =D boooo!

samu!

the cab

2005-12-08T22:22:00.000+08:00

** 1020hrs **

** used **

he rode down the road , spoken nothing except the directions home .the passing trees and bushes, pointing its branches and pointing at him laughing . though mocking at his stupidity. many thoughts flooded his already exhausted mind. many little little things that he does in the past came rushing back to him. he thought he could love all friend all. he was utterly wrong.

many a times he did stupid stuffs , not expecting anything in return. he really did not expect anything but some appreciation. a nod of head , a thank you , a hug, signs of appreciation. he got none . yet , he continued loving her like a sister like a good friend like someone important to him.

he is tired , he felt stupid , doing all these things for her. for what purpose does it serve? he didnt know.

$5.00

the meter shouted loudly in the car , not even stopping a moment to take not of him. sending a cruel and harsh message across the car.

"who cares how you feel now? PLEASE PAY FIVE DOLLARS. DID YOU LEAVE ANYTHING BEHIND? "

he simply took out a folded bill from the worn leather wallet and paid the driver.

even the driver , siting just mere distance away from him took no notice of his changed mood.

he walked away from the reversing cab and head home.

he didnt feel good .

he felt used

samu.

happy birthday to u!!!

2005-12-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

** 1215hrs **

** i risk getting hammered by mike to type this entry**

** happy bday to chiu? todae right? =D **

yeha yeah! okok .. quick entry then i shall go sleep! mike was telling me to go sleep by 12 !! arh! lest he wil have to help me punch my card le! =x . booboooohooo .. samu is a pig! who likes to lai chuang! blahz!

so so .. todae was superbv tired. after work i went down straight to sch . only stopped by clementi to get liang cha for chua and chiu . and shaker fries for jas! duhz. glutton ppl . =) ok . i pamper them! i admit . now they start climbing on my head liao lah! win liao lor! duhz

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIU! I DIDNT FORGET! WAS JUST PULLING UR LEG ONLY !!!

i planned ur present one ok! u will be super touched when u see that! =) tho we will give u a belated one! but it will be one of the best bday present of2005!! woot woot! pls shout samu is creative when u see the present! =)

so so .. went hunting for the present with fauzi and jas! had lots of fun lah! cutleries inspired necklace , number tag decorated necklace! woohooo! nice pics btw! i took the pics ! =D woot!

hmm.. the darlings are starting to fall sick already .. boohoo chiu is already a step into the coffin le . kewei losing her voice! jas heaty and losing her voice too! must be the projects and all! well well .. theres samu! yeah yeah ! bleahz!

here i have to realli thank godma for her help! without her! i would have been hacked into many pieces on the streets . =\ i here say samu will never ever be able to repay her help this time round! samu will be fillial to her! never ditch her when she gets old! NEVER! PROMISE! love ya godma!

ok .. now jas starts chasing me to sleep already! boohoo .. everyone is chasing me to sleep! well .. sleep is good! =) i shall go sleep le! nitey donkey bloggy!

samu

(Orange , for the wonderful and fun time today!)

godma: i seriously dont know how to repay u . =\ thanks a million for helping me!

kewei & chiu : i bet u two didnt finish the LIANG CHA! *roars* i will buy again tml! don care!

jas: nice hair! (i have nothing else to say le)

u: *smiles* see u tonite in moi dreams! o.O?

** SAMU - U = incomplete **

samu is a happy man!

2005-12-07T12:07:00.000+08:00

** 1210hrs **

**i am in the office**

**i have been typing this three lines for the 7th time already**

**samu is a happy man!!!**

wootie wootie woootie .. ! in the office woor!! Singapore Aerospace Manufacturing! (SAM) i open de! yeah yeah!! *jumps up and down* woot

i am uber tired! fatigue! i have been trying to sleep earlier and earlier these few days . to no success . i slept 230 the day before , then 130 . then last night de 1230. wootie .. but i am still tired .. i fall asleep infront of the compt .. stolen naps. ! argh . poor me! later still have to go back to sch for debriefing.. booohooo... T_T donno when end also . haiz .. sadded

zzz . i have been trying to type that first 3 lines for a few times already.! to get the alignment correct and to make spcings! like cos if i centralise it , the whole entry will have no breaks ,.. like from line to line break! it sucks! and i just realise the language of the blog can be changed! got to dash board , top right corner area theres this language selection! change it to french! muahzhzz .. zz

okie .. i shall go take my afternoon nap at my desk le! *yawn* nothing to update tho! just that ytd me siyi and pw met up! woot! nothing much bah! like usual , we bluff bluff siyi that we going to pang seh her ,... then she started to have wet eyes kind .. booohooo ! *cries* heheh her usual stunt! =) then we will melt to save her tears! of cos we will burst out laughing first before we save her! muahahah .. u lousy pig! u have a loose tears tap .. muahaha . -__ -

samu shall go sleep and dream ! ok . i was late that day cos i dreamt of U ! and i decided a few more minutes of sleep would hurt, and i woke up at 9 am . -_- .. well . sweet dreams are hard to come by u know .. so its worth it in the end .. arh!! samu is going crazy!! siao siao siao siao siao siao .. slap me slap me quick quick! wake me up!!! =
the nap i shall take !

samu

( Pink , for the wonderful dream of u)

siyi & pw : we shal eat good food next time! pizze hut SUCKS!!!! *pui*

u : *pushes u away* how abt appearing in my dreams in the weekend? so i will not get late for work? =D bleahz! =p

** SAMU ISNT COMPLETE WITHOUT U!!!! **

just a simple day!!!

2005-12-04T03:10:00.000+08:00

** 0310hrs. **
** i had just a simple day ! how abt u? **
** so they made up their mind on the issue already **
** i laughed my head off **

wootie . now now .. ladies and gentlemen , i spent todae myself! ALONE? like spending time alone? its so fun =D well .. i had bro to acc me todae! =D we did our usual lame stuffs. like quarralling when to leave house to where , what games to play , whether am i ready to join the lan game and the usual "oei wad the fuck u doing? don cut into my lane eh! (we were playing Need FOr Speed 2)" , "oei , help help ... enemy attack my base liao ... wad fuck." =D ok .. it was just simply burning time like no body business .. but i enjoyed it ! =D la la la . i didnt go town to get a new book todae! i shall do it tml! yes TML! sunday!! woooot! and that will make it a day before MONDAY???!!! -__-

now now! isnt it fun to spend time like tt? =D its so fun for me !! woot woot!

so so .. kewei have decided on that issue already. well , i respect her decision tho! =\ she wins the discussion todae , hands down! when she says all guys are the same! woohoooo . one big and long bamboo wacking the daylight out of everyone on the boat !! wooohooo . yeah i agree with u to a certain extent! there are always exceptions! bear that in mind ya? and lets stop being so critical over that matter anymore ok?

sam pampers kewei , chiu and jaslyn! ( i had to do this , lest kewei starts making a fuss again . argh) i can imagine her laughing and smiling in front of the screen now! =D *giggles*blah blah!

ever wonder the consequences of me always saying i pamper this person and that person. now it becomes a group of three already huh. -__- no girls will wan me like tt can! omg! they think i am a flirt and BOOOM! there goes my chances . see see? i get nothing doing pampering stuffs other than getting nags from kewei .! see? omg! non-profitable! *shakes head*

ok . that matter aside . =) sam is still a happy man! it lasts me for 3 days already! wahhaha . and many more days to go! woohoooo!

so the day was filled with me and bro shouting across the house to attack the enemy and to change the track for the race... yeah! and we brought down the bike for pumping of air and only to be told by this uncle that the tyre might beeen damaged and spoilt! so i will have to change the tyre lah! omg! i hope i will be in time for mondya! so i can ride to sch adn save the crappy cab fares =x .. la la la ...

i ended the day laughing my head off can! jas showed me wonderful clips she did with mei chen? wahahhaa its darn funny! hahaha shall keep the details out . =x very crappy de! so she was liek saying she will send me the clip when she gets home and i was seriously thinking whether its so funny or not , that she got so excited .. o.O yeah yeah! i must say it is a very good way to pass time while working! =) and its super funny! =D U must be sleeping with a smile on ur face , and laughing in ur dreams tonite! wahhahaa .. o.O

i haven decide wad really to do tml ... kimseng concert/mike house for workout/cheng house for mahjiong/me alone at borders/ ??? / ??? / no more le lah! =D .. ok . see how things go tml! blahz! i am broke broke broke! seriously in a debt liao . =\ duhz

ok .. i have nothing more to blog le! good nite bloggy.....

hmm... u need a name!

bloggy , u shall be named donkey!

donkey bloggy!

yeah!

samu

(greeeeen for the nature way i spent my day today!)

siyi: arh! thanks for visiting my blog always! i know u have nothing to do at home this holidays. so keep up teh good work ya? =) love ya lots!

leen* : i am not going to say any thing abt tht matter ... =\ but lets move on ya? like move on? move the on to off? =) hehehehe =p cheer up dude!

bro : u arse hole! thanks for spending time with me today! weeeeee!

pw : now that my bike is not working , i doubt it will be soon that i can nite cycle with u le! and we haven meet up for so long already! i bet u didnt get anything for me!!! boohooo!

u : i miss u ... todae!

**samu .. isnt complete without U!**

**giggles .. just a comment lah! relax!**

[s.a.d] removed life .

2005-12-03T01:12:00.000+08:00

** 0115hr **

** no more s.a.d in moi life! **

** its different ! i know! **

***********************************

thi entry hll not hve ny [s.a.d] in it. =) life i beutiful with out [s.a.d] cool right? think one more time.

however, there will be link without [s.a.d] like the link i tot below. =)

life will be boring without [s.a.d] . tho it will do trouble. we will live with it.

for life will be boring without [s.a.d] . god give we emotion . we need to welcome it.

***********************************

dear friends. it took me a minute on the bus to think of this idea. it took me ten minuets to type out the above lame sentence. (its in broken language i know. u try and see how difficult it is) but it changed my thinking for a lifetime.

In life we many exprience many sadness . Thats where the [s.a.d] comes in. So you might think taking away [s.a.d] will make life better for you . Yeah sure! . Try typing an essay without [s.a.d] . You will cry even before finishing a full sentence with the intended meaning that you want to bring across .

So [s.a.d] exists for a meaning. Its an emotion. Its an important part of life. For without sadness one will not understand how it is like to lose in a game , one will not understand how important that someone is to you, one will not treasure the things around him/her.

Without [s.a.d] one may not know the true meaning of life . Just like a sharp sword. Without going under extreme heat , excessive hitting , sudden quenching ,it will just be a piece of useless metal. God gave humans emotions. Without emotions we will just be a lump of moving meat and bones. Love life . =)

***************************************

Woooohoooo! i am super proud of myself now! to be able to think of something like this. *proud proud* well .. its just a thot bah . sounds nice . but i dont think i can always do wad i say =) so heck! =D

today is a very interesting day for me. besides playing lan online , skipping lectures , sleeping like a pig in the clubhouse and blah blah , i waited for a bus for 45 mins at least can! omg! how interesting it can be! hahahha shit day i must say . =\ ok .. at least i was able to see this "flying night kite" got blown away by the wind and the owner ran like mad to fetch it back , but i think he couldnt find it tho .. he was walking up and down the area .. hahahahhaa .. =) *evil*

the day passed me by just like tt . i am still thinking of things to do to fill up the free time for tml! without band , i have a WHOLE day free can? ... argh .. wad to do wat to do .. =\ perhaps sleep like a log for a whole day? =) sounds good eh?

well well .. i dont have much to blog abt tho .. =\ just the lame thots i had .. =D

sam shall spend valuable time alone with himself tml! its decided! get a good book tml ! read at a cafe! wahahaha . shiok! =)anyone wanna join me? wouldnt hurt to have a company =) , tho its a spend time with myself day .. =D

Samu!

(chiu was proud naming me this! cos now everyone is calling it! even me! o.O)

fatt & xiao ming : u guys need to go for more battlefield training! u guys got motion sickness! go go ! and we shall wack the idiots when we play lan next time! wooohooo!

jas: i wanted to say u looked ugly in that oriental top .. or rather u looked big! ... argh maybe its the mirror. haahah *hides* but ur friend looked nice in her poker dots ! ultra cool!

kewei,eugene and chiu! : u guys didnt bring me to BBQ ! *roars* but thanks , becos of u guys i got the time to think of the [s.a.d] theory .

u : i didnt mean not talk to u . =\ i just felt that i shouldnt habour these kind of thots . its bad for u and me de. =\ sorry worr!

****** samu is a happy man! , mu i hppy mn ******

wooot

2005-12-02T01:11:00.000+08:00

** 0115hrs **

woohooo! siyi's hunky friend said i played well for my second suite "one player" hahaha =) i am happy! sam is a happy man!

sam loves his darlings

sam is tired .

sam needs sleep!

sam neeeeddsss.....ss..ll...e.e....

zzzzz

a mcdonald love story

2005-12-01T22:12:00.000+08:00

i saw this on janice blog ! and i find it very interesting! enjoy !

A McDonald's love story...

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonald's one cold winter evening.They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night.Some of the customers looked admiringly at them.

You could tell what the admirers were thinking:The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal.The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray.There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink.

The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half.He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites.Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. - "They were used to sharing everything."Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing.

She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink.A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal.The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again

.After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything. What is it that you are waiting for?"

She answered,"THE TEETH"

me.is.a.happy.person

2005-12-01T02:19:00.000+08:00

**0220hrs**
** i am a happy person**
**and i am still not asleep**

wootie wootie wootie so sam is a happy person! listening to praise jerusalem and typing his blog! sleeping late again and hoping tml will wake up in time! o.O yeah sure . fat hope! but he is a well rested man already i must say! he sleeps non stop . from 6-10. he is trying to smoke less also . but to no success todae! he survived till 6 with a stick and due to tremendous stress and a series of unfortunate events , he bought a pack! and he has decided to keep that pack at home and not bring it to work! he is going to live a healthy life tml! he is going gym with michael and eugene! =D sounds good isnt it?

The donation box is at the end of the line , any amount will do! just not less than a dollar . =)

so a happy man is a powerful man! a man with positive attitude with all the things that he does. even has a winning streak of 3 for foosball today! with the ultimate ngee ann all-star formation of michael attack and sam defend! =) we brought down all three opponents to their knees . but we still lost to eugene and john! argh! we will win tml! for sam is a happy man tml again!

a series of events made me as i am todae! from rondeauXX to ... er ... i dont know . =) we all learn along the way. we know friends . friends for life . =) friends for crap , friends for foosball! friends for everything that comes along the way!

well smoking is bad

i will keep telling myself this!

praise jerusalem just ended on my MP3

next , second suite featuring , well , me at the back playing the beat notes! i am proud of me. i did it with little/no mistakes . =) ok , now that i hav said my piece , u can punch me . *gleems with happiness*

sam has learnt to love everyone around him. practically EVERYONE!

and in come PW to the realm of virtual messaging. =) er . did i use the right word? pardon me for my poor command of language . i am still learning the ropes . o.O =D cycling in teh middle of the night sounds good doesnt it? its decided! i shall go pump my bike and cycle i shall go . around boonlay? =D then i will go to work at 6 . sounds good? o.O lets wait a while and see. let me finish blogging first? =D

jo will start complaining at this point that my entry is uber long . =) i have to work out the muscles on my hands too ya know =) *lamed* sam is happy . he doesnt stuffs that he likes . so if u dont like THEN BE HAPPY WITH ME YA? u feel the happiness flowing in me?

think positive ppl! POSITIVE ! P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E!

playing now: fourth movement of second suite! featuring NPCB! =D dance along ppl! DANCE!

this is the happy chapter of me.

i feel loved . =)

Sam

i am dancing with NPCB now!

chiu: tho u didnt talk to me today! but i felt u were there all along . on msn? =)

mike: u are wonderful! i know u must be reading moi blog now ! enjoy ya?

mill: i dont know if u are reading but we didnt forget u . =)

xt: u bitch! so u think u are darn cool without a wisdom tooth la! u better stick to ur promise! we are going JB on sat! if u even remember that is! *hurmphz*

ruilong: i bet she must have forgotten. have u? =D

kewei: i am happy becos of u ! yes i pamper u . happy now?

jas: dont worry , me. is here. always.

samu: u are naggy! please stop ranting anymore and go to sleep! =p

Bondeau XX second half

2005-11-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

** 2254hrs **
** exciting days are coming .. i hear the footsteps **
** how how how? **

woot woot .. so interval was super stressful for me . i take the door opening as a personal overlook. and the usher/stand as a mistake i made . and the arrangement of chairs . ok .. my mistake . cheng! don think too much . i have a part to play also . to think of it .. cheng did a good job in making it a success . =) so so ... was superbly stress ful . saw anthony .. he automatically gave me a smoke also . =) so we talk during smokes . =\ yeah yeah start nagging at me now . -_- so sianz lah .. so after that went around to socialize . i saw no one in particular . -_- yeah i saw siyi! with her hunky friend. didnt get teh face . so xiao hui knows siyi de! arh .. they are from JJC mah .. =) after two days then i realise their relations . -_- yeah . so who else . then i saw fatt smoking .. ok i join in , just imagine the amount of stress i am taking . =\ i smoked the red one somemore . -_- haiz . wadever . then bro joined in the smoke =D smoking brothers . duhz

second half starts !

so percussion played first . they sounded great . seriously ! then came the alumnis! they are indeed alumnis! POWERFUl! their playing sure is superb! but they just lack the playing together part . then shuang was standing beside me asking whose the guy at percussion (bin) , his back looks shuai. *sam roll eyes* there she goes again getting self-highed over stupid stuffs .. zzz .. then presented the flowers to mr yeoh and his Yi Fan Feng Shun momento . =)

then came JAP GRAF 7 ! rox piece i say! solos are all well done! jeff did a great job witht he super high notes can! wooohooo! i melted on stage! creeepy crawlers on my skin! , and i still remember liang seng saying if a band that sounds good will give u goosbumps . indeed so eh? fadz was powerful also! =) with his bass guitar! woohoooo! PETER did wonderful with his solo! so is daryl! =) eehehehe rox rox rox jap graf is 9.5/10

oopz ! and my fone just rang .. heng called . blahz .. update later . . . .

WWEEEE .. now its wednesday morning .. a pig i slept like ytd , woke up by my own alarm and i went back to sleep again . and to be awoken by mum! =) rythem .. =D

todae is a nice day! sam is happy! so is his day! so is everything around him! love me! love me! cos sam is happy! i can make u happy too! for just $1.99 bring me home and be happy!

*terms and conditions apply.
** batteries not included.
*** Maybe harmful for kids 16 and below.
**** Please consume after meal , 3 times a day! everyday of the week =D

so so i shall continue with the concert . after jap graf was .. ... er wen wei solo? yeah omg! i melted once again ! =) very nice on the solo but the band just sound too loud tho . =\ o.O seriously! i give 4/5 chopsticks ( die die must try! )

then came to a new dawn! but before that we have flower giving session . =D the sunflower i ordered is just great can! omg! super nice tho . =)

the piece was wonderful i must say! but just too naggy . alot of repetive parts . nice bass trumbone ( now now . trompet and trumbone are brothers) =) then very nice eupho accompinian . rox or wad? i give 4.4/5 chopsticks ( Die liao also must try! ) the missing .6 are the careless mistakes made thru out the piece. perhaps we are all tired already. arent we?

then came we are all alone . i still think the title isnt appropriate at all. we are all alone to rondeau 20 is like coffin as a gift for grand dad 50th birthday . right? doesnt sound right tho! but leen did a great job with the slideshow . saying "we are not alone afterall" =) then its like the gift for granddad is a gold plated minature coffin. ( they do sell these kinda stuffs , i saw it at IMM when i got mr yeoh's gift) *surprised*

yeah! and the end of the concert! great . now i went around to take pics and talk. so glad that mummy (jean) came. =) my darling godma! and she brought her mother . which is my god grand ma! hehehehe . she arh .. injured herself recently still insist on coming to concert . climb the stairs and all . hav to persuade her to take the lift down and all . =) well well .. mums are all like tt . wanna act tough one. mum is another one lah . -__-

then we begin our packing up procedure back to sch . yes , i smoked on the lorry . ! yeppy! all was fine until when we reach sch! my star awards was broken! leen and fatt de! =D yeah i love the main 5 comm ppl! the ones who stayed together since main comm! a wonderful group of ppl i must say!

merrill will lead the pack , constantly doing follow-ups for the stuffs the we are doing.
bin will create miracles . he never fail to come out with surprises .
manda will nag nag us to constantly remind us of our duties .
fatt will always shout his vulgars . and to always think of ways to bring up the musical standards of the band
sam will just wobbly around laming laming .. whining . =)

from main comm till now , everyone learnt lots of stuff. we had many passer by ppl . ppl like dessy , andrew , david , kailing , nicholes. well .. they left lots of undone work . and lots of chaos . but the main 5 still struggled to survive on. we succeeded tho! =) then came kewei! my best wonderful assitant! my disicple . very capable! learnt the ropes very fast! got the drive for her work . she also has got her own pespective of things. very unique . =)

then came the rondeau comm!
in come lots of wonderful people!
ppl like leen and pee to help kewei with the ticketing! without leen's every practice scolding of low ticket sales , we wouldnt have sold enuff tix!

then wenwei and chengyee and lionel! wonderful help they provided! wenwei the fast worker! chengyee the into detail magnifier! lionel the troubleshooter! very excellent ppl .

then came the very powerful young man! ming wei! i can say within my logistic and stage grp he is the best liao lah! u throw him a task . he will digest , analyze then give u the solution . and then he improvise! omg! even tho he dont have a laptop his task are all well done in good condition ! =) he looked dang handsome that day can! omg! shuai ge ( no sacarsim . )

no regrets that i stayed on. tho at some point i realli wanna just get out of this place . now now a toast for everyone who made this concert a success! =)

Sam
Once a musician , a life time of music plaing

aftermath

2005-11-28T16:21:00.000+08:00

** 1620hrs **

**two days after concert**

**newly found old friends**

yup! after so much of work and effort , NPCB ended its 20 years of music playing with Rondeau XX . And with the many glorious years of music making to come!

tho with a few screw ups which i see it as a personal overlook on my part , the concert was still a success . we played well for the pieces , the ticket sales was good . tho not ful house , we manage to fill up at least 85% of the hall .

perhaps i shall write abt the concert hour by hour eh? then i will have many stuffs to write about! considering all the days that i have not been updating my blog! =)

0700hrs .

heng woke me up with a wake up call ... started packing my bags for the overnight staying . then carefully pack my "stars awards" into a box for the comm. so i packed packed and packed . and went down at 915 to wait the cab fadz took a long time to get .. *frown*

10:00hrs .

reached sch . cheated xiao hui into writing the star awards for me =) hehehe and i started glueing those stars that fell off .. =) hhahaah cool cool ..

1130hrs .

we started teh moving out procedures . first to check out the blazers and pins . check the instuments , then briefing . then we started to move the stuffs down. awaits the lorry we stood there for half an hour tho . and i presented my bday present to heng! a ladle! i didnt have time to wrap it tho . =) happy belated ! the ladle is for the many years of cooking in the future ! =) then i gave away my most sincere gift of the day also!

eventually the bus came!! and so was the lorry . we began the loading process up the lorry . only to find out that we nearly had no space to sit on the lorry in the end. argh . the delicatedly wrapped organ got in first and followed by other stuffs . poor chimes was dismantled for easy movement! =) so we left sch late . we communicated with the bus with the walkie talkie . and eventually , we found out that we forgot to bring the iron! *screw up number one! * so we had to

call peter to detour back to np to get it for us . =\ without his help , we would have un pressed shirts on stage already . =\

so we smoked at the back of the lorry ! =D like how we always do! hahahah funny tho . very stressssful! months of preperation for the actual day! and this is it! the pressure sure is great!

1330hrs .

we reached VCH behind time! instuctions were shouted and instruments were hustled into the hall fraid the rain would damage the instruments . rushed up teh hall to check on all the other stuffs . blah blah .. others are technical issues tho .

we got everything set up and rehearsal started abit off time! but nvm . it was good! everyone sounded perfect! then we had a minor glitch with the projector . or not it would be very perfect ! projector or not , the slide show was great ! it made fatt cry ! =D wahaha

so auntie from the florist was calling me alot of times to get me down to get the flowers . =) but i didnt switch on my fone! =) so she got abit fustrated tho! hhehehe started nagging! she did a wonderful job with the flowers!!! omg! realli nice! and i bought flowers for chua !hahah she is dumb can! don even know it was lavender! =) lolz i owed her lavender from last pnc! the message goes " this is for a job well done for rondeau! now don bug me anymore! " =D

tehn came the ushers! they are a bunch of wonderful ppl ! seriously ! esp kewei friend! he helped us alot! =) and a few ushers ! they are great! and some looked quite pretty too! one pair took pics whereever tehy went of themselves! hahaha funny@

then came the alumnis! they are a bunch of music lovers ! they have passion for mucis! thats wad kept them going for so many years! but a very hard to co ordinate them . i know they got their lives outsde .. but at least take the effort to come early bah? went out to smoke with anthony . and i discovered many things can be solved between guys with smoke! .. many things can be discussed over smoke! =)

1800hrs .

start of concert! wah lao .. realli very sad u know! to see a handful of ppl at the audience .. 10 mins before concert! omg! so sad! then 10mins after 6 , ppl still staggering into teh hall! haiz .. my fault now! i didnt inform the ushers to close the door at 6 and not allow anyone in ! booohooo! then i still signal aik kee to come in when still got ppl staggering in ... haioz ... boohoo .. nvm .. its ok ..

and everyone on stage look great! amanda with her nice curls ! miao xing with her un black shirt and nice make up ! li xian with her superb make up! and finally jas! ( i hav to do this lest she comes bug me again! ) she looked realli nice lah! with her hair do! .. seriously nice! and her pointed shoes! hahaha =x . cheng with her realli realli nice ear rings! now i know why brasses played some wrong notes! cos we kept seeing her terble clef ear rings! *tsk tsk *

now we started teh concert already! VERY NICE! very grand opening with the first piece! superb !

was kinda dissapointed with tuba with ballade! kept playing obvious careless mistakes! well .. that was the one mistake i am unhappy abt only .. all the other songs were superbly done! and eugene did a great job with his solo with euphonium ! a one bar solo! but that was realli realli nice! i melted! jas worked very hard for this concert and all have been paid off! seriously i am proud of the tubes ! the power of tubes! =D

and i still feel that my tone was the best at concert! compared to the many practices ! =) round and correct! hahahah =x bleahz special thanks to francis for his help !

END OF FIRST HALF!!! ..... 15 mins interval! ..

ok until here jas complained i was taking too long for my entry liao! argh!

=) first half was realli great despite many small glitches! =) we took many pics together , had realli great fun!

fatt was bothering me to send him the pic i took with kenglu! =D nono i am going to send to him! *evil!* =)

shall update the second half in time to come! =)

Sam

fantastic 5 !

cow drink/drinks milk , u decide!

2005-11-18T01:31:00.000+08:00

** 0130hrs **

** Officially classified as a pes BP recruit **

** Communication skills **

i stirred up from bed just now , having the urge to blog. ! =) these few days have been exciting and mind engaging week . Mr Yeoh is still rushign me for my weekly report , joshua is still telling me to come early for work . =D but i have made lots of new old friends this week . interesting isnt it? read on .

sometimes i really doubt the ability of my brain to record events that have been / are happening now . ask me abt wad i did on monday . *gives a blank look* ... uh . shit i don reamember . i have inactive brain cells whom occupies the area beneath my head to make a *tung* sound

monday i had band? oh ya! i remembered . monday was the third day of the annual rondeau last minute concert rushing to prepare day camp . yeah we did a marathon on pieces for 3 days in a row , from sat to mon . kool band is getting more and more hyped up coming to the conert already , however , tix sales aint that good ya know . =) *guilty*

kewei went ( with the right palm hitting the back of the left palm)
" i tell u ar ... concert is coming and ur ticket sales is like shit ......"

sam goes rolling the eyes

Still a few days to concert tho .

i save this entry on nov 18 . now is 28/11 .. 2 days after concert . i took a leave and here i am at home . resting . feel sick too .. booohoo .. i think i shall write in another entry ! =)

here it comes !

Sam

mr fluffy left the world of wonderful goldfishes.

2005-08-27T01:01:00.000+08:00

** 0101hrs **

** sad. fluffy is dead.**

** u are being overly sensitive. **

ok . i am quite sad that goldfish fluffy died. of horrible death. it got stuck in between the pipes and gravel for a night until i realised and i quickly saved it. it got seriously injured with bloody tail and all. and the shitty sucker fish ate the beautiful scale of his. and fluffy had left with one side of beautiful scale and one side of biten skin. so i took out the sucker fish and place it in the pump area . with the pump switched off . and fluffy was struggling hard to live. the detemination in the eyes . limping with all its might in the water . till just now when i came back. it died. floating on the water lifeless. sad. fluffy was the longest surviving fish . it survived thru the first small tank to the now big big tank. =\ tho died in not a glorified way . but its still the goldfish i love most. =\ due to my carelessness and irresponsiblity it died. =\ sadded. now even my dearest goldfish leaves me . =

*****************************************

FLUFFY

Remembered for his fluffy tail.

Thanks for being there everytime .

You live in my memories forever.

Good bye!

*****************************************

well well .. happy belated ya? =) u know who u are ! =D smiles always.

ok . todae passed with nothing much to comment. finally i managed to complete to drawing for the landing gear and it will be ready for FEM test next week =)

she still ignores me. i donno why. perhaps i was being overly sensitive bah .sigh. i will still be here when u need me ok? me is here , always . remember? =)

sam
fluffy...

shrek. ogre

2005-08-25T23:21:00.000+08:00

** 1121hrs **
** desolate **
** i am in the wrong **

Thursday , 25th august 2005 . Me , Sam is officially isolating myself from the outside world.

i don feel right these few days. i am a terrible person. horrible too.

i smoke, i drink , i am lazy , i am a pure slacker , i skip classes , i dont do my work , i leave everything to the last minute. i am ugly , i am fat , i am annoying , i am disgusting , i am a hypocrite. i am critical . ok enuff . i am digusted bymyself already.

please stay away from me ok?

i am going to be an anti social.

I AM FEELING TERRIBLE NOW!

the only one that i can talk to now is my smoke. tho it kills me, at least it listens . well not that no body listens . but i just don feel like talking to anyone. and no one wants to listen to my bitching.

as much as feeling terrible , i too feel very pissed off with all the ppl who still owes me my ticket stuffs . cant u just give it to me? be it bud or money. i am sick of chasing u every single practise and every single time. i am not obliged to serve u guys ok? neither did i opt for this. like how i told gene . i come to np for that diploma not to serve band and do shit jobs. -_- i come band for music playing. i enjoy making music together . i dont enjoy doing shit jobs . __

seriously i feel bad .

i know u do not wish to talk to me or maybe even at the sight of me u feel disgusted. and i am sorry that i blocked u that day and talked to u in such a tone. i am sincerely sorry. perhaps i have been thinking too much . i am the one at fault . i am being a MCP . argh.

no body ever finds out wads behind . no body ever cares wads teh cause.

me lives on the island. alone from now on.

sam

thanks xiuting and mill for the shrek and wonderful necklace? it looked more like a choker on my thick neck ! thanks!

ETOPS : Engine Turns Or Passengers Swim

2005-08-20T01:01:00.000+08:00

** 0100hrs **

** drained **

woot . i almost forgot i got a blog . until the recent incident in the comm. i realise the power of blog. o.O woot woot woot .

well well .. many many stuffs happened from the time i last blog. stuffs that aint meant to be publisized on blogs. yup .. lots of stuffs happened. lets speak of the recent event eh? . so recently the whole class was drained to the last drip trying to do projects . DDACP . we are suppose to do a 5000 essay on 772 ( it means 777-200 , eg: 747-400 = 744 ) yeah practically we eat 772 drink 772 and breathe 772. there isnt enough time to do the project lah . we are not like free everyday to meet up and do kind. and wads worse is that this project require two person to work together in order to get the information out. believe me , u wouldnt want to try .

so in the process of doing i realised a few things .

other than the video that we were forced to watch for 5 hours , actually 6 . we didnt had enuff time for the other. so we were forced to find alternatives . somehow NBL has got a few books exactly on 772 . so mill was fast enuff to got hold of the first book .and he got me another but somehow it got spread around that we had the book. we didnt want to make a hoo haa all around lah . so we didnt want to be haolian abt it. so everyone started approaching us . like we do not need the book at all . there are 24 chapters in a book . and the information is all over in the book so we have to read EVERY single chapter . one by one extract the information and organize it. so ppl got worked up in the process of asking for the book . we were labeled "fuker" cool? hey hey i am mr fuker . how do u do? well , i am not that angry abt that tho . hes a nice guy , but we need the book as much as u do. serious.

well so there came another guy whom DEMANDED for the book like we owed him something. he asked us to take down the notes and pass it to him . uh? like how? i seriously do not understand. =\ serious . i am feeling dissapointed . to a very large extend infact.

i seriously don understand . =\ stuffs like websites , videos that can be shared , we are more than happy to share around. a book? where u have to look into every chapter? how in the world are we going to share? photocopy? duhz . sch doenst allow photocopying shit can. i simply don understand .

and there were a few books in the NBL . and the other group got it . u know it too well that not every one in the class has the book . u OPENLY showed the book to pete . HELLO? are u dumb or are u dumb? its obviously going to be unfair to the other groups lah. those who do not have the book will be marked by pete based on the knowledge that such a book exist and is available . i serious do not want to critisize u so openly but duhz? i feel damn unjusticed for the other groups lah. so wad if u got the book? u have to open and read like one kind in class and show off to the other ppl? duhz? we had the book in our bags everywhere we went and we didnt even dare to take it out in class lah.

shes a wonderful friend but a terrible classmate i must say. there have been far too many examples of her attitude in project workings . i did not dare to work with her anymore ever since the first time.

so according to mill ( whom btw accomodate me and xt at his house , thanks a mill.) ruilong was indeed very pissed with how things worked out tho. never in my 3 years knowing ruilong have he ever raised his voice . never. ever. until ytd that he raised his voice at her. tho i wasnt there personally , knowing it is enough already.

so personally i am quite unhappy with the progress of how the project is running. we got last for the last project which me and chan did like some mad cow. i had to compile the report over night and miss a few lessons inorder to get it out. chan had to stay late to get the computer to run the simulations. for all the effort we put in , we got last . a C . and people who did not do anything got A . by hitchhiking. DUH? kill me , just kill me.

sum wasnt of any help i must say for god knows how many times. he knows shit can? we were faced with problems on the drawing of the part . he got me to the front and showed me lots of stuffs which was totally irrelevant , it only mattered if i cleared this part of the landing gear. thanks a million for telling me the obvious. "u have to alter ur dimensions to get it right" duhz . like we have not tried it before. we were stucked at the point for a week already. trying trying and trying. so eventually i stripped the drawings down and did it all over. eventually it turned out that the way we drew it wasnt correct in the first place to start with. and sum was ranting all the way about changing the dimensions. if i followed ur way , i would have died infront of the computer 3 years before. argh .. this is total madness. -_-

sigh..

it got to a point sometimes that i just drop everything on hand and lie on the floor dead. i would be better dead for the rate things are going .

band was no better also . theres so many things running around the band that i got so sick of . now who says ngee ann band has got no politics. i say we have the same amount of politics as teh next band. tell me u liked the girl whom stepped on ur foot the other time. i say u are sick! the difference we have over the other bands is that we dare to admit we indeed have politics ! one of the keys to success is to realise where u failed the other time. get it ? dickos!

i seriously do not like the way she does her stuffs. she tends to get personal . on alot of stuffs. and she goes around talking to people hideously. she likes to poke her nose into every matter. i say wad people do in their private lives u let them be. wad they write in their blog u just let them be. u handle it professionally . they did not do their stuffs properly tell them straight during meetings . don go around talking behind curtains and stuffs. =\ isnt very nice isnt it? well , i am not that perfect either . but at least i try not to talk behind backs . ya get me? i am not trying critisize u tho. but i do not know how to tell u face to face. perhaps we can have a lil nice talk . i realli do not want to see the comm breaking into UR sect , MY sect , THE CoUPLE.

arent we suppose to work like a team? this isnt how a team works.

have been stressed up recently with all the stuffs happening. and the butt gets darker and darker day by day . the lighter lights more and more recently. the beer belly gets bigger and bigger day by day. *snorts* is this how life is supposed to be? it wasnt stated in the manual when i signed up .

its been a long time since i talked to my family already. brother was like having a fun time in office and me missing out on those interesting stories of his. mom have been running into some problems which i did not have time to talk to her . haven been accompanying her for a long time. so she called me that ytd when i forgot to inform her about me staying over at mill's . so i craked a joke which made me realise how much time i have been spending out of the house . " i think i see mill's mum more than seeing u already" i feel bad . guilty.

I BEG U ... I BEG U REALLY .. PETE .. STOP GIVING US ANYMORE PROJECTS ..

so i told jas todae, u come my house lah .. so u can accompany my mum .. well .. it made me tot of a wonderful idea. to let my gf acc my mom in teh future .. =) of cos ..the girl must be one that i love deeply . having her accing my mum is a bonus . =) well well .. anyone whom liked to apply pls drop me a mail ya?

ok .. i pee-ed in my pants todae . ever since primary school . wait . i NEVER pee-ed in my pants before. i did shit in my pants before ... but pee? eeekz ... ok .. i shall not go into how it happened , but it all had to do with me getting too anxious to get it out . the pee got directional change and it dirtied my pants . i had to clean my legs and sandals lah ! -_- its super embarass . argh heh .. =p

i have been suffering from serious sleep problems recently . too many projects and tests to do , i sleep pratically 5 am everyday . this had my biological clock go haywire . days that i do not have to stay up i could not fall asleep . its terrible. u live like a zombie , roaming earth with no clue when the next sleep will come.

sam. me is drained

"how much are u going to pay me to do the house work? "

"my life worth of love "

******************************************

SPECIAL THANKS to Mill and family for accomodating us for the pass few days and many days ahead.

To peter liang whom nearly took my life away!

To KW whom wasnt there physically but present cyberly

To Jas whom made me realise the time i spent at home

To Xiuting for reminding me that i was mad turning the aircon to 20 =D !!!

And finally to my 8 lil cute goldfishes whom kept survivng despite the irregular meals i fed them.

****************************************************

welcome to my life

2005-07-17T04:01:00.000+08:00

** 0401hrs **

** the fishes thank me for cleaning up their world **

** who cleans mine? **

oh well .. its 17th July now. to date , me. have acheived nothing . nothing at all .

i guess i sorted out few stuffs after chain smoking . (well , i finally admit publicly i smoke! ) shocked?

" why? why u smoke? " ( spoken with a mixture of shock and dissapointment )

" can you please change the brand of ur cigarettes? its smelly can? "

" eh ? u learn how to taleck ( to inhale smoke n let the lungs consume the shit ) ?"

most popular sentence " eh u smoke arh? u dont look like one leh ?" *roll eyes*

seriously i know the effects of smoking alright? i know wad it does i know wad it is . i was taught to educate kids not to smoke remember? i am not pissed off that ppl wants to poke their nose into my matter and all . wad i am not happy is that firstly , ppl do no speak with their brains . cause and effect remember? u never look beyond the smoking part . no one ever ask me the cause . *raises an eyebrow*

secondly , lets put aside all the other stuffs . i am beginning to take in the fact that everything i do , have to be put under scrutiny . hey look? cant i even choose the brand of cigarettes i smoke? . well i understand it will be kinda stinky after a smoke . but .. argh i am sick and tired of these crap lah . i cant even choose the brand i smoke? hello? must i change the way i pee? duh.

ok , friends ( did i call the name correctly?) i know u guys care . all these years if not for u guys i wouldnt have pass my module. i have eyes . i can see that u guys really care . really . i am touched deeply . but the feeling that u give me is that i have lost freedom . haiz . well .. sorry .

i didnt want to take other cigarettes the moment i heard this smelly brand is lighter in content than the more "popular" brand . tho sometimes i get realli sick with the sweet taste on the bud . why? becuase the fact that i know the negative effects of smoking , i want to have the ability to quit it anytime i want. and why i smoke like some dumb amatuer? smoking isnt that hard to do lah. i didnt want to take in full effect of the cigarettes like inhale all the way and hold . i CHOOSE to do it that way ppl. i am the timid bastard who doesnt want to get hooked on cigarettes that smokes! cant i even do it that way? my way? "ahahahahah... look at pundeh sam smoke .. cb waste my cigarettes only .. "

" eh why u so scared? u dare smoke dont dare let ppl know arh?"
"eh kewei kewei lai liao! " *sam quickly hides cigarettes."

kewei is one of the ladies i wouldnt want to hurt . like mum , have been hiding from her abt me smoking also . she sincerely cares for the friends around her lah . me , being her friend does not want to hurt her can? shes also the last friend i would want to lose . for she says " u dare smoke u no need come talk to me liao " . ok i dont know how to put it . bottom line , i just do not want to hurt her by letting her see/know i smoke.

now i sound contradicting? *hur hur* i just do not want to hide anymore . i am sick and tired . can ppl please accept me for who i am? its tired to wear a mask . kw , sorry ... i betrayed your trust . forget u ever had me as a friend ok? i am a let down.

look. theres sam with lame and stupid jokes again. muahahhahahha. yeah funny. pundeh pundeh pundeh sam . wahahahhaaha. u are a clown wad . dick!

friends , i am perfectly fine with nicknames and crap . i know i always come out with stupid jokes , ideas . but when i have something to say , it means i have a point to make? sometimes it makes sense and sometimes i may be wrong. argh . enough is enough right?

welcome to my life ppl ..
a loser was born 19 years ago to this world to entertain and bring trouble for the mass .

no more am i going to live in a world of yours . (whoever u are . ) ... wearing a mask to face everyone is sick . and tiring .

i seriously believe friends are made sincerely . and it lasts . friends may not talk for ages , but they know that they are there for each other when trouble strikes .

well , enough said . now knowing the real me , please reconsider making friends with me . be it old , new , might be , will not be . thanks !

realli have to thank xt cy wr for taking in my crap todae . and i think i have been a let down to barracuda .they did well todae . better without my mistakes i guess. and thanks to bro for the walk to shell , jy for sharing her stories . heh . its the real me u see on the streets next time .

sam
welcome to my life .

me. is here , always ...

2005-06-22T00:01:00.001+08:00

**0001hrs woohooo! its back to 8 - 5 tml! **

** DDAC projectile is a killer !! **

** so how? **

hey hey sups sups me. typing away trying to fill the blog in , while wicked aura plays at the back! =D i seriousl wonder how they remember so many songs .. =\ hahha we are going to create sets of our own! barracuda way! black barracuda! oh wheeeaaaa oh whaaaaa ....

oh well was trying my very best (i swear) to run the DDAC projectile for simulations! darn hard lah! getting the piece ready for simulations is hard enuff lor .. to think the other class have to hand it in like this week .. =\ peter sure is trying very hard to kill us . =\ he has got all the knowledge the everything but 3 hours lecture and 2 hours practical at one go isnt much productive in anyway i say! . think he has all the skills but classroom management knowledge skills . =D (now even teaching kindergarden needs a certificate ok??)

me. is a lame character trying to juggle many things at a go! =D me. went over to thank the donor for tan joo kee scholarship the other day but he wasnt there . talked to the trustees from HSBC .. uh kinda creepy ya know .. they look at u with those " wad do you have to say now?" lolz i seriously have the being interveiwed feeling!! hahaha . anyway i am very curious who this tan joo kee is . without his scholarship i may well now be out of np not being able to pay my schoolfees.

tried to look over the net for his story but to no success! well well .. hopes he knows somewhere out there me. benefited from his scholarship greatly! =D

oh well wicked aura is now playing the final piece for the gig outside ngee ann city . and i have a feeling its a repeated set from the front . *shrugs* tried to look on the net for this kitchen percussion band . but theirs nothing lah . =\ think we have to think of rythems and beats ourselves le .. =\ tedious process . =\ lolz and seriously i think the ger in wicked aura is sexy .. uh .. those that will make u wanna dance kind . lolz kool!

so so so ... everyone is busy busy busy . me. is lonely and bored . me. has got no one to talk to! please double click on my nick then u see this .. and for goodness sake talk to me! =D

me. is thirsty and tired . me. is sleeping now. me. will wake up on time tml! me. dont care!

sam
me.

me. is here , always ...

2005-06-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

**0001hrs woohooo! its back to 8 - 5 tml! **

** DDAC projectile is a killer !! **

** so how? **

perhaps perhaps perhaps

2005-06-19T23:34:00.000+08:00

** 1134hrs .. 9am class tml or wad! **
** black barracuda tribe! **
** sobz **

oh yeah oh yeah . we our first public performance on friday! hahaha .. at this run-down shophouse arts place. callled the YMS . uh .. its actually at some back street kind . lolz .. back street boys ! =D back streets barracuda sounds interesting =D well .. bad idea to play in a enclosed place . and the concert was already a bad idea . wahahha =D i seriously dont think they play well lah . =\ well well ... =x

well well ... tml is class day! monday! m-o-n-d-a-y b-l-u-e-s ... starts kicking soon .. bluey bluey .. bahz!

oh well , was taking a nap just now , then had this very sad dream lah . i dreamt kw accident lah then gone liao .. i cry and cry and cry and cry ... i still remember i board the funeral bus and i cry and cry .. until i woke myself up with wet cheeks lah .. =\ so real lor .. so terrifying .. =
sam ...
why did i cry so hard? ....

sick sick sick ...

2005-06-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

**1132hrs .. i am working opening tml .. shucks .. **
** we ended pnc with a bang **
** hur hur look whos talking now **

yah yah yah ! i am still recovering from this strange sickness lor .. persistant cough and non stop block nose lah .. haiz .. mr tan gave me 3 days mc . and i finish all the medicine according to his instructions and i am still sick .. sickly sick me . =
woohooo! ladies and gentlemen , we ended pnc with a bang ! oh yeah oh yeah ! lots of fun and stuffs . barracuda rox the house lah! =D well , gave kewei the flower also! =D long planned de surprise ... lolz . and bin's surprise too! tried to give jx a surprise too! but he was no where to be found lah .. =\ .. lots of fun! cakes pictures , taopokz! =D we rox!

stepped down le . suffering from post concert disorder syndrome . suddenly nothing to do after band . suddenly no more long torturous meetings after band! its freedom now. hahha . =
wooohooo .. life looks good to me now ! oh yeah oh yeah .

love is a strange thing tho . very strange indeed . u will never know who u will eventually end up with . yeah! fate

this taxi uncle was talking to me about fate . he says every day u will never know who u will meet . like driving a taxi , u wouldnt know where u will pick up ur next passenger and where he will bring u to ..

sam .
"shit u no die!"
"sick me no die!"

pain...

2005-06-04T02:36:00.000+08:00

** 0235hrs ..."i would rather be ur goldfish" ...**

** depressing me ..**

** so wad now? **

life is sad.

kw " u go and die ok? "

i open the door , jump out of the corridor .

its just that simple sam ,

do it .

yeah i will .

all your troubles will end . right there right now.

how i wish i would just go off and leave nothing behind .

sam
no more toubles in our lifes , we feel no pain

cookies on the floor!

2005-05-30T00:37:00.000+08:00

** 0037hrs bugging unclearable spywares... **
** cookies on the floor! crumbs flying .. **
** there she goes ... **

sch started , oh shucks ... the bond doesnt seems to be there tho . something's missing from the class . zz ..

KL trip was fun well , shall not elaborate more . no time .

sch starts at 9 tml . ends at 3 ... wooohooo! shiok or wad .. =D

sorry for not being there my dear pw . u are da best da jie eva ! happy birthday tho , belated i guess . hahaha .. bleahz! we shall gather all the resources to celebrate ya? wooohooo

concert is starting soon ... bad sales ... please buy my tix ok? sad .

irony , she appears online finally when i set my heart to forget . duhz . think fate is hiding in the corner laughing . *snorts*

right eye twitching , **** ( 4 digits) i shall win 4 d this wednesday! woohooo! =D

cheers,
sam

2005-05-23T22:50:00.000+08:00

carrot cake by the road side!!!

2005-05-23T22:49:00.000+08:00

omgg! clean ur ass device! at 5* hotel i stayed! o.O

2005-05-23T22:46:00.000+08:00

fantastic fried mee tai mak!

2005-05-23T22:45:00.002+08:00

fabulous roasted duck noodles !

2005-05-23T22:45:00.001+08:00

waffle!!!! A&W .. wahaha

2005-05-23T22:45:00.000+08:00

A&W ... yeah! root beer float or wad!

2005-05-23T22:44:00.002+08:00

amos everywhere

2005-05-23T22:44:00.001+08:00

famous amos @ KL woohooo

2005-05-23T22:44:00.000+08:00

petronas , the metallic tower .. o.O

2005-05-23T22:42:00.001+08:00

MRT @ Dang Wangi !

2005-05-23T22:42:00.000+08:00

pau bigger than my palm!

2005-05-23T22:41:00.001+08:00

MRT @ KL , Bukit Bintang!!!

2005-05-23T22:41:00.000+08:00

MRT @ KL

2005-05-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

cheng teng with quail egg?

2005-05-23T22:39:00.001+08:00

mobile steam boat - lok lok

2005-05-23T22:39:00.000+08:00

swwweeet talk in KL o.O

2005-05-23T22:37:00.001+08:00

vineger pork trotters! yummy de!

2005-05-23T22:37:00.000+08:00

-BEST OF THE BEST -

2005-05-23T22:36:00.000+08:00

authentic hong kong milk tea ice! =D

2005-05-23T22:35:00.000+08:00

lok lok by the streets!

2005-05-23T22:24:00.000+08:00

pIg sToMacH pEppEr soupy!!!

2005-05-23T22:23:00.000+08:00

cUttEr fIsH kAnG KonG

leaving on a diesel bus ... sheesh -_-

2005-05-21T02:50:00.000+08:00

** 0250hrs .. water flowing , fishes swimming **

** empty **

** what who? **

will be leaving for KL in like few hours time . cant get to sleep , the weather is bad like always . so is my mood. think i am suffering from depression? or wad . feels kind of bad these few days . suicidal perhaps. i think many would be happy to see this happen ya? karma isnt it?

have been visiting other ppls blog. seen many comments . well comments abt their every day life and all. nick's blog caught my attention. written in a very unique way i should say . kinda interesting . will be paying more attention on his blog tho. well something puzzles me tho , regarding his departure from the band. someone told me its his thinking was different others say its the standard of the band. well in anyway we all should respect his decision on this matter bah. tho i wasnt very convinced on the reason then . =
things have been happening . sometimes i just dread turning up for band . now the playing part isnt that a problem , tuba's music aint that difficult compared to the euphonium. and mr tan pronounce it as EE-phonium much to my amuse tho .. sounds kinda weird . i still remember my primary sch conductor telling us a joke on thai pronouncing their scared animal as EE-lephant. *giggles* kinda weird dont u think?

talking abt band . its the work that u have to handle as a committee member i should say. not that i have tons of work to do . perhaps i am just finding things to do around . its like seeing the clubhouse hot and all i will propose for fans to be placed inside . its something i just cant leave it lying around and when people ignores the presence of the problem ,i cant . i just cant do it . isnt me i should say . taking the the mess created everytime in the clubhouse dont i try hard to alter the furniture and place BINs in the area . yet litter find its way all around . this is like multiplying 1 to a million times. its still one. like pushing a wall with all ur might but it theory no work has been done .

perhaps i should contemplate less and do nothing more. saves me lots more trouble.

fanny: eh .. u two dont communicate one arh?
uncle lim: ya lor ...

well .. we do communicate but less so when work gets piled up on ur desk . i supposed its in the blood . so i was trying to pack my bag when mum came back and started instructing me on how i should pack my bag. o.O i was like huh? i have been to enuff trips and overnights to know what to bring and what not to bring. so after trying very hard to persuade me to bring the specific clothes she goes on nagging about the cleaniness of my room and all . stating the fact that ryche will not be doing all the clearing up while we were out . o.O are we going on a trip that will last for a month? i suddenly asked myself , ended up with a chuckle. its all in the blood. =D

after funvies i suppose i will try to persuade the comm that i am quitting the comm for good. or rather hand down the stuffs to kewei and chiu . feels kind of reluctant to even go to band now. dont know why .

i am not feeling good these few days have been indulging in the forbidden tho . isnt good for health like when u know its getting kind of late already. in the mist of that i attain that few moments of unself me . like i suddenly find myself in a no where land . indulging in the precious moments of peacefulness? signs of depression? not surprise if so.

the days at amos was fun . addictive fun i would say. listening to stories told by many other amoses .peaking into the lives that differently lived at their side of the world . well , it shows alot of a person just by listening to his/her speech. cool . got to know that the amos holds its annual appraisal for its staff like once a few months from david . it immediately spunned my excitement in challenging the appraisal . well , it is definately pathetic to draw some $4 an hour for a pay ya? so was it janice or whoever from sy class whom patronize amos that day and said " so u are quite desperate huh?" it struck me deep and hard . how in the world do i end up in a place like this? . ya how? ...

so chiu and kewei gave me this very cute present today . i was still wondering the reason why? but it is very heart warming to know that there are still people in the world whom still acknowledge ur presence . like u felt urself living . well living with a purpose? . they have been excellent company for these few days.

finally saw her at band that day. was feeling so down even before seeing her it doesnt make a difference anywhere.(she has got a nice hair-do tho. looks more executive i should say.) it just struck me that day that the family will be entering this financial crisis in no time. HDB jus called ytd pressing for payments for the house . singtel have been sending endless letters to persuade us to pay up the bills. and i am drawing a pathetic pay of $4 which doesnt come in another 2 weeks. and me still there trying to turn up for every session of band practice and turning down offer to work additional days? am i out of my mind or wad . i am letting go something soon. i will cease my connection with the world in no time to come . isolating? *snorts.*

LOSER ! u are a freaking loser dont u think so . reading a endless blog entry of a loser's? welcome to my life ya?

sam.
do no shit , no one in the world will clean it up for u . ever!

after the dust settles....

2005-05-15T02:15:00.000+08:00

** 0215hrs it rained heavily today **
** so did my heart ..**
** -nil- **

its been a few days since camp ended , a week infact . i am still not feeling good abt wad amanda told me . well .. its not realli abt who told me , but its the news itself . i just cant put it words how i feel now . its not in anyway comfortable .

have been trying to kill myself the very slow and ugly way . it seems to help at the moment only . well , tats wad its meant for eh? but well .. every night i sit infront of the laptop , i log on to msn i see this un logged in msn nick . suddenly a hollow feeling engulfs me . tearing me piece by piece into darkness . into the non-existence state. its been like a long time since i talk to her . on msn or face to face . every now and then a news of her presence somewhere neear me makes me feel uneasy. the kind where u really want to walk to her and start a conversation and the kind that makes u stop at the second step moved.

how i wish it all didnt start . ever since that encounter , i have deeply fallen in love with the eyes of yours . the charm radiated all around , the giggle ,the everything . ( now i sound sick lor -_- )

things in life right now seems so out of control . even the feeling isnt anywhere better .

there are so many things that i wan to achieve . but with a debt on my back and many commitments around my waist it isnt that easy to even walk . i wouldnt be begging for money if i have money myself isnt it? i wouldnt hitch for a meal if i have the ability to pay for it . its not over the lamp thats i am pissed off about , its the inability to pay for one myself thats disturbing. i care nuts about a crap lamp . its the inability to afford things that i desire . the helplessness u understand? who in this world understands a poor man's life. its misery .

its not money i am going after . its the ability to be able to fulfill the dreams , the ability to feed the desire for items . do u ever look deeper than that? all u think is this guy is going after your money . if i can pay why should i ask u to pay . think! u dick! ...

shit life i am leading now . i want to work more hours to earn more money . but wad the hell i cant skip this and i cant skip that . how in the world am i going to work . i am definately not happy with the state of life i am leading now!

relationship is expensive , come to think of it , all the expenses . *tsk tsk * spent about $100-200 on an annerversary alone .now when the dust settles , i have to pay back for wad i used eh? . the cause of the misery . the aftermath ? *snorts*

here comes the irony , tho i know its expensive and troublesome and all . i foolishly try to stick my head into one . and end up with misery, self created misery? . haiz .

sam
wrong time wrong place .

seeking me .

2005-05-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

dear god, help me ...

** 11/5/05 wednesday 2341hrs... **

** who am i? whats my purpose... **

** i finally knew the reason... **

david " ever since u started , i have only known u today... "

des " u dont look like one..."

ryche " chey..."

i simply do not understand my purpose in this world . a tree exist to provide shade , timber and housing . a snake keeps the mice away from the fields . the sun exist to provide warmth , sunlight for the earth and whole of the universe . wads my purpose?

neither do i benefit ppl around me . nor do i supply anyone or anything with something. basically i exist with no purpose . like an antimatter. neither nor position. a boat with a broken sail travels with the current , sails in the storm , alone.

camp was terrible . thats all i shall say. well at least its terrible for me . sleep deprived and mentally stressful . physically taxing . well. at least the games were fun! FOC did a great job in setting all these up!

amanda " .. she told me last night ... "
i have actually prepared for the worse . i felt like an idiot . like shrek . who loves the big green ugly monster? love me if u dare! right?

perhaps it all shouldnt have happen at all . well if i have known everything i will well me a millionaire by now . -_- shucks i am simply not in the mood today!

sam

chilling winds

cookie crumps stuck shoes ..

2005-04-30T01:34:00.000+08:00

**0134hrs .. leaking aircon... boohooo**

** arhchoooo. *sniffs* **

** missing u .. **

a slack day! apparently todae i am supposed to go for the percussion ensemble thing. but well , something cropped up at home so i had to stay at home . zz a word to summarize all , SLACK!

well , i did second day at amos on thurs . kinda interesting . with all the cookies mixing me up and heatwaves from the oven . woo! tho it smells kinda nice from the outside , i cant smell nuts from inside . o.O so we have , all the different short forms for all the cookies from number one to nine is ... CCP BTS NNCC OAT DCC MAC PCC NP MACC .. hope its right .. lolz so its chocolatte chips with pecan , butterscotch and pecan , no nuts choco chips , oat meal raisins and cinnamon, double choco chips , macadamia and chocochips , premium choco chips , macadamia crunch and macadamia .. wooo! i kinda remembered all on the first day . but cant get it out on the second day ahahaha .. cool .

and the crumps get stuck on my shoes often . when closing , we will sweep the crumps to the floor and sweep it out . and u will step on them somehow . and it gets stuck and walking gets slippery .. nearly fell ! heh!

so so .. i dont have anything much to say tho ... just a normal slacking day

well well .. tml i shall take a break from everything ... no band and all . so tml i am meeting sy at 6 . then maybe going home after that to clear up the house , then to borders to get another book , i finished without remorse by tom clancy long ago .. then i shall read it at the airport while waiting for mum to come home from HK. Cathay Pacific WAY XXX one . forgot . lolz =D shes landing at abt 11+ .. may well see her at midnight . lolz . i love the airport! i don mind staying there tho .. at least its more comfy than my room .. =x la lax

well .. to think of it , i might change it somehow .. after meeting sy i get the book , come home , clear up and leave for airport . =D sounds more appropriate . =D

well well . i seriously dont know where this is heading , like taking a train heading to no where , u only see wads immediate outside the window , but u have no clue where u heading . well... i am sick and tired of everything . zzz but i am not going to give up so soon . i shall perservere .. =
was looking thru my open diary from last time . freeopendiary.com . =D nice place . but i think blog is nicer , more personalize ..

sam
0.6(character) + 0.4(looks) = true beauty .

Project Flowing Water In Progress...

2005-04-25T02:03:00.000+08:00

** 0203hrs ... the night seems quiet .. **
** cookies .. back to FnB .**
** the tired eyes ..=x **

well well .. monday morning eh? thinking of it . Airbus's A380 is taking its first flight . todae . in french time . cool eh? in a few years time this giant will go into service . woo . cant wait to eye-ball it soon .

the fishes crys out to me todae : get the tank cleaned or i shall go on strike. so i reluctantly cleaned my yellowish tank . o.O somehow it didnt occur to me that yellowish water means something i tot it was supposed to be so until i saw its photo last time. hahah . so i drained the water off , took out all the gravel .. washed it scoop by scoop and scrubbed the tank and pipes . heheh this also starts the phase one of Project Flowing Water .. heheh look at the pic below , u will see my drawing of the proposed new fish tank . with flowy water and all ... cool isnt it? hope it doenst comes at a big price .. =x

heheh spent some time this afternoon to put up the rack up for the new tank .. its suppose to stand at a height above the present tank and water will flow from the new tank to the old one .. and water at the new tank will have cleaner water , for it goes thru 2 filtering system. =D .. so will the one at the bottom . =D

yuppie yuppie . so i am starting work at famous amos on tues . back to f&B work again .. well .. after the shell thing haven been working already . needa pay off some debt . =x well well .. this will be the parcel that says money management of life . *snorts*

woah .. theres something that i have to write . its abt ytd the badminton session with the gers -_- .. now i know the wrath of a ger . the silence attacking so silently like arrows flying across the still night . invinsible but lethal . wooo . after seeing wat happen ytd i would call charcoal black anymore . =D

haiz ... looks like the comm is in a mess now . politics? well god knows wad caused it . -_- now ppl have to clean up shit others created . this is totally unfair . well not trying to be calculative but it just isnt the way u should do stuffs . u urself opt for the post u jolly well do ur job properly . now not to say doing it properly , they didnt even do anything . i dont see why merrill have to work so hard to make things work and they two slack like some prince . -_- irresponsible brats i say . *snorts* now i have to wake up early to clear their shit for them or the office will chase after our asses again. argh . there is no way the band will be able to host WASBE if we lack simple stuffs like valve oils and grease . -_- there is also no way i can call in the new cardboards if the instruments are not catalogued properly . i want no insturments to be lost under my watch tho . -_- a trombone have been loaned out for at least 3 months have not been checked or questioned . thats crap. argh . one did the job halfway , the other talk and do no shit . argh! getting on my nerves . -_-

well well .. for those reading this , please contact me for a ticket to:

Ngee Ann Polytechnic Concert Band
Pops And Classics - Funvies 2005
11th of June 2005
1900hrs @ Np Convention Centre

wooo.. we will be playing pieces like phantom of the opera , harry potter , children of shanchez .. and many themes from the movies . we promise lots of fun and a whole new way of presenting band music as a form of entertainment. not the boring kind of classical concert u used to attend. so let down the hair , fold up the sleeves and come have fun with us . attend with anything but formal , dress to party! wooo . *wink* =D

i saw the tired eyes. tho listless yet beamed with charm. =\ feels kinda weird to be alone talking to her tho .. =\ *shrugs* hope is all i can do and hold on to . well well .. i think its kinda sudden for anyone to take it . o.O

wooo.. camp is nearing .. like next week eh? lolz wooo.. will be having lots of fun again! looks like we are keen in squeezing fun out of anything we do. even the camp will be fun! hahah we lived the theme well this year . dont u think so? *cheers* ..

yea! i changed a new blogskin . looks nice right. in the sadness brings peacefulness. its actually a tribute for friends fallen to the asian tsunami calamity .. *prays* hope god brings peace and courage to the ones whom survived this all .

sam
live life like its going to end anytime.

2005-04-25T02:02:00.000+08:00

Project Flowing Water Drawing 2

2005-04-25T02:01:00.000+08:00

Project Flowing Water Drawing One

2005-04-25T01:58:00.000+08:00

project flowing water ... phase one!

2005-04-25T01:57:00.000+08:00

yellow fishy tank

2005-04-25T01:55:00.000+08:00

clear fishy tank!!

glitter stained hands

2005-04-20T01:50:00.000+08:00

** 0150hrs ... information overwhelmed..**

** karma ... yea sure .. -_- **

** tell me .. wads ur eyes made of? **

yuppie .. its some wednesday morning le .. having a good time during this two weeks of holidays .. hahaha .. rox or wad !@ next week will start to work at famous amos at jp .. wooo .. hope all turns out well .. =D

well well .. have been keeping up a excerise roultine these few days .. like bball ... jogging .. and bball and ... jogging .. hahaha maybe i will be starting on the arms too .. weight lifting kind .. lolz .. but i will do the stone aged kind .. cos beside the np track is a fitness corner .. might be doing more on the logs .. those that u carry and all .. =D cool ...! *cheers to a fitter me!*

so so ... todae was a packed day .. waked up at 11 .. after nearly suffocated in my own room .. dang .. bro switched off the fan and i woke up in a pool of sweat .. -_- .. so i ran to mum's room and turned on the air con .. arh .. so i slept till 2 =D hahaha ..

cooked myself some lunch .. impressed with how much i improved on my cookings .. hahaha =x then prepared for a day ahead . well well .. headed to sch to pick up the ball .. hehe then went to the office to check on my proposal .. finally things starting to fall into place .. and ian was abit shocked at the speed i did a new memo .. hahaha .. well well .. thats the reason why they put a PC at the office right ... =D

then went to sch with ming wei .. played some ball at the court below shuang house .. well well .. a double rimmed court again .. hehe took quite awhile to get the ball in .. =D so after the bball , called shuang to get to the minimart .. well .. i figure attachments will be tough on everyone .. kinda fear the kind of work i am doing next time .. o.O sadded .. *hides*

at this point of time .. .my dear kewei just asked me ..

*.:kewei:.* -.- says:
u busy writing blog ah

yeah i am !!! .. -_- well well .. if u dont know shes my assistant for welfare in the comm .. she agreed with me calling her round headed blur and unrefine ger . which i totally agree on . and well she brightens up the comm somehow .. she lowers the average maturity age of the comm in many many ways . =D shall not write anymore or ppl might think i like her .. -_- *pukes* thats all or this may well turn into a friendster testi . =D

so so .. we were pondering wad to get for kaiyan bdae present . nono correction its the round head ger whom was buying the present while i and mingwei did the thinking! -_- can u believe it? omg! where has the creativity and sincerity gone? haven the government emphasize enuff on excercising creative in schs? -_- well .. in the brief moment i tot of putting this candle in a glass bottle and designing it with glitter glues .. well not that creative but it turned out to be a attractive and sincere birthday present at least! -_-

so after that we took a cab down to shuang's house . so so .. this i have to say .. of all the houses i have been to including my shabby shack here .. i tink she has got a very nice house .. well .. at least its the kind i want in the future .. well i tried to do it with my room last time and it turned out to be more of the jap style than the modern style i would say . mine has got too much wood elements in it .

the first important element is that the house must not be lit with WHITE LIGHT!! omg! it looks quite ugly lah .. -_- i prefer the house to be lit with yellow light .. gives the kind of warm feeling . well .. next would be straight and well defined lines . shuang's house have got very nice straight lines .. from the tv cabinet to the dining table then the clock .. wooo .. cool! another thing that i love abt the house is the raised platform .. the one by the window .. yeah! imagine this .. saturday evening time when the sun is setting .. by the window .water from the man made pond flowing , soft music at the background. reading a book , sipping tea .. lying on comfy cushions .. and she will walk in the picture trying to see wad u are doing and she busy with her stuff , maybe reading a mag or doing her undone work , or simply laying down on ur lap enjoying a saturday evening passing by .

wooo .. is that perfect of wad .. lolz .. yeah i am thinking too much .. -_- hehe its nice to hope for something and work for it isnt it .. =D

was watching news just now .. witness on TV the election of the new pope .. woo .. kinda cool .. the army of 1.1 billion have found a leader . then the approval for a integrated resort in spore . yeah . " having a casino will have a big problem , not having one will have a bigger problem.." well .. if we lose this deal , its billions of dollars we are talking about that will be flowing out of our hands. if money were to be invested in this region , it will be spore . we will weave a bigger net to capture those money. we need more facilities in order to do so. with increased GDP , we can take out more money to help the needy and old . now who says a casino in spore is bad . we look things in different manner and weigh it accodingly .

was looking at MM Lee giving his speech on tv . man ! he sure can talk . the eyes! focused yet laid back , the words he say has got impact . i mean for me , just by watching a short clip on his speech i am completely bought over by the idea of integrated resort thing . wow . the singapore idol isnt taufiq , its LKY!

money : the defnate importance in a relationship but never to be taken as a criteria.

yeah! after observing many gers i came out with this conclusion . i agree about the huge spending power of a couple . well i exprienced it before . u pay not for one but two . sometimes many more . but i believe true love shouldnt be sought using money as a requirement . looks and money are just things that will fade away in time to come. are u going to ditch ur wife 50 years down the road when all the beauty and looks have left her? well if so then u don deserve love in anyway . i mean .. wad matters most is the character and intelligence . i have seen gers look very beautiful or appealing but they does not have character or i would say good character . they go for money .. well ..... -_- shall not comment much anyway .

i personally does not have money and looks . i cant say i have very good character . and i am not that clever too . well i think thats why i am still stuck here . -_- hehehe think i should talk abit about her .. why i am so attracted to her thing . i shall start with the eyes . the eyes is the most beautiful thing i have seen so far . of so many eyes .. hahaha . it speaks alot of a person anyway . the charm of her does not spread out thru the looks but it radiates from inside . the inner beauty . the character . tho she has got small eyes , sometimes cant be seen . whenever i see the pair of eyes i will just pause and look . charmed by it . well . cant put it in words . its the kind when u know theres something more abt a person just by loooking at the eyes. then the other thing that attracts me is the smile and laughs .. sweet smile and all .. hehe .. so so .. think these will be enuff for me to fall for her le bah . (somehow i think i sound abit mad ... well , mad abt u i would say . )

god pa is back in spore . had dinner with them last sat . i think he has got some illness recent ly ... with the back . hopes he gets well soon bah . seeing him not able to take cold stuff and consuming all the medicine just hurts me quite a bit .

sam
*prays for godpa*

without remorse

2005-04-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

** 2338 hrs... drained..**

** "tell me about rules i will show u 101 ways to do it easier , faster." **

** falling deeper. **

13th of april , sunny

think i am going to make my blog sound more easier , er... simple? cos jo and kewei says its too complicated and LONG ... omg .. dang . jo says its so long and she tries hard to finish it .. well .. maybe i shall write many short blog entries and like 15 per day kind .. sounds fun ya? kewei says its filled with sun tze . well well .. wad more can i say .. zz

well these few days have been trying hard to get some calories burnt . lest sherry will sterotype me more .. dang dang .. so now i am a fat guy who doesnt know how to run , doesnt know how to do sport , cant swim .. -_- or am i so? =D booohoooo oh ya .. and i look like someone who cant do well in studies .. o.O (yeah i know i didnt do well for 2.1 . shit i will do better at 2.2 ) dang!

well.. finally got to use my $20 borders voucher todae . got clancy's without remorse . hehehe .. i am 2 books short till i have the full collection of tom clancy ryanverse books .. =) took me like 2-3 years to complete the collection .. hehhee =) cool .. next may be james peterson book . i got one already .. the first to die book . talks abt bride murder .. hes those that will give u the mystery feeling inside out in . while clancy will be those that will make ur fingers dig deep into the cushion .. once read cant be stopped kind .. lolz suspense .. chiu" ur book very action packed arh .. " yeah ! its action packed to the fullest . =)

was trying to look for the sun tze art of war translated into english .. took me 15 mins and i approach the counter and it was just like in the first shelve at the entrance .. duhz .. but i didnt get that cos i find it too .. cold .. too stone. perhaps i will try to get the chinese one together with a chinese dictionary . the beauty of chinese literature . sitting all along at the doorstep yet few manage to see it .

while i see it .. but too late . now its payback time. i think in a few years time i may well forget how to write my chinese name .. *ponders*

well? is my blog still too long .. too lengthy and wadever ? hahaha . yeah .. sue me rite?

argh .. was in the office todae i realli felt like throwing all the stuffs into the bin and just go off .. all the shit office procedures .. i realli felt like quiting and all . argh well think that isnt me if i do so .. =\ dang .. for a simple thing like asking funding for items like electric fan i have to do work using effort more than those i use on projects in a semester. well .. i am magnifying it up . to show how displeased i am with all the shit that i have to go thru .. and dang IAN for wadever reasons he haven been turning up for work these few days .. and i cant get my stuff done! kill me kill me !!!!!!

well .. not going to talk abt things too obviously .. o.O think alot ppl know already . argh .. regret doing so . feel bad now .. for doing things in a rush . end up . haiz .. wadever .. i still cant escape the pair of eyes . of no where pops out a pair of eyes that melts me . not realli like going ga ga kind. is those that can stare in the eyes and be awed by it .. like stunned petrified .. wadever . i just cant stop looking in the eye .. they speak a million words . tells a thousand stories .. the espression .. the smiling and cant see the eye thingy is really cute . like charming cute .. well .. think i am talking abt the impossible again .. =
was resting in the clubhouse , then i heard the band go thru a few pieces .. i realli felt happi that things turn out well .. the band sounds dang nicer than it used to be alot more . member strength is increasing and sustaining. well i realli think all the effort by the comm paid off . and me chasing paper ends trying to get proposals approve feels kind of satisfying. well .. the man behind it all is merrill , but the guy whom made it all happen is aik kee . i can see he is trying very hard to teach us . tho we may be noisy and ill discipline .. but i think we know our stuffs .. tho not that well , but improving. *cheers for aik kee* .. hehe sad , the school still owes him his pay from the last time i heard .. hahaha . =x bleahz

well ... am going to excerise bball tml yeah yeha .. tinking of jogging for a long time .. haven been doing so .. dang . i wan to do it ! i can do it ! i shall escape from the sterotyping !

sam
impossible... drop me a hint .. ya?

asa

salty pork chop.

2005-04-08T00:35:00.000+08:00

** 0035hrs ... i am 19yrs and 35 mins old **

** the story of salty pork chops **

** ur eyes and smile **

dissapointed.

the story of the salty pork chops. came home and felt kinda hungry and decided to cook something for myself. pork chop it shall be i say. cut , beat the egg , make the flour, heat the oil.
then came mother . "aiyo .. bu shi zhe yang zuo de." so she changed the way i wanted to cook. "ni de jiang you bu gou ... fang dou yi dian." the creation of salty pork chop.

overdoing it. why should we add more soya sauce when we know obviously that its too much. cos mum said so. cos the rules say so. tell me about rules i tell u 101 ways to do it easier! faster. *snorts.*

rushing, spur of moment. doing things in a rush will take u more time to salvage the wreck than u doing it slowly and correctly. " its impossible, we havent really know each other." "ya .. i think so too" now i am stuck. i am stuck inbetween nothing . no way will i be able to move forward , and there isnt anyway left behind me to retreat. "jing tui liang nan". drown me , at least i know when i am dead-- when i feel relaxed floating on the water.

u eat the shit u created. yes i did the shit. i cooked the salty pork chop . i eat it all up . wheres mum? asleep. wheres bro? doesnt fancy shit. wheres the rules that controls u? in the corner mocking at ur stupidity. kidney failure , here i come. pls call the nkf hotline so that i will have marnee for my treatment next time.

rushed my welfare work todae . kinda tedious. i feel stupid. Ian will not be back till monday. and after he comes back the follow ups will still be tedious. dang. why cant someone sponser the stuffs? it will be easier . yea sure . i will eat up all the proposals if anyone is willing to do it. try me . cos everyone have lost the heart for community related affairs. they care for their arse more than anything else. i am one of them .so wad? at least i dare to admit. __

u care for the arse beside u and u get shit out of it. u rub their arse when they are in need , they kick u in the arse when u are in trouble. yeah sure tell me about all the brotherhood , how much per kg? *snorts*

i live in a world where theres me , i and myself. if i got trouble i will find me , myself will rely on me while i will help myself. get it idiot? trouble finds me not you . for you does not exist in the world. i love myself and i like me . they three are interconnected. i say help me , i will help myself no matter wad . u never hear help you . why? for there lives only me i and myself. period.

shall be going to the beach tml . find it kinda fun . to see ppl having fun trying to glide on small waves, seeing ppl building their dream house which last as long as the tide remains low. looking as ppl whom they call their group friends cycle to practically no where and heading back in 2 hours time lest they will be asked to pay the remainder. watching guys trying very hard to teach gers skating when what they want is just their phone numbers. the everyday events of life at the beach.

i think i have gone too far in making myself present in ur life , i dont belong anywhere but the world of me i and myself. kisses were meant to seek your attention , while msgs are trying to see if u will reply mine. sorry. i am selfish. i dont deserve love .

trying to see if xl is ok was just to make myself less guilty . trying to ask "friends" out was to make sure i wasnt alone today. i spent time and effort trying to be "friends" of other ppl . they are my friends . i doubt i am theirs . i question the meaning of friends. i say they are just a harbour to rest ur boat in a storm. after the storm , thats the end of the relationship between the ship and the harbour.

sue me for all i care __

sam
"i myself and me"

ants in the sugar bowl

2005-04-05T00:48:00.000+08:00

**0113hrs ... ants crawling in the sugar bowl. **

**Operation Zest : Debrief **

** ur eyes. **

Operation Zest ended officially on saturday 2nd of April. yuppie . am embracing the warmth of the holidays ahead of me with an empty pocket . hahaha. well well . i think i can score for EM cos i did all the qns? ya? haha actually i put in effort in all the papers . as much as i can. did moi best . but MF isnt that well done. dang! its difficult ! and the Tr wasnt suppose to come out lor. or so i tot . perhaps Tr = drag kinda thing so its included . argh crap . TF was great . finally i have the feeling of being prepared for a paper in a long time . did all the qns and did it quite well . i suppose . all have to wait till the results come out in god knows when.

well talking abt god . the pope just passed away not too long ago. well kinda sad tho. in a world of unsettled disputes , disasterous calamity , poverty , homeless children we have lost yet another great leader. someone once said " how many armies does the pope command?" i say none. but he is one of the most powerful men the world have ever seen. he doesnt control peoples heart by fear , by force . he gains their trust through the words of God . gain their hearts through religion. we indeed have lost someone great.

well , u will ask if i am someone whom believes in god in jesus and all . i say i believe in god. the greater being above man. the one beyond the reach of common folks . i truly believe god is something greatly spoken by almost everyone. but just in different languages. they speak of god in christianity , in islam , in buddism and all . i believe in religion that speak of good will ,of peace . but believing is one thing being extreme is another. its doing bad stuffs in the name of god. those are the mislead ones. bad. tsk.

life just goes on. thinking of it , in 2 years time i will well be 21 years old . hur hur . embracing adulthood i shld say . =) think dad will be relieved that his sons have all grown up . in his blessings above , he helped me quite a few times along the way. the peserverence and all . mom would be proud that both her son have grown up too . much to her difficulty . she put in efforts that no words can describe in this family. she may well leave the family when dad went off . she have no obligations to stay on. but i think its abt the love for dad and all that made her stay. believe it or not , she will be the role model for my future wife. the type of girls i will look for. =) kinda traditional for a guy like me ya?

ur eyes. beautiful and unique as it is , i avoid looking in. for the fear of me falling deeper and deeper in this senseless bottomless hole. falling into the dark pupil of the eye. NO. i shall stop all these nonsense of mine here and now. its impossible like u have said. its too soon like i have concluded. hope it will just vanish into thin air with a blink of eye. i shall avoid looking into it . the eyes. ur eyes.

sam
8th of april . the day I came to this world. this lonely world.

clogged pipe vs troubled me

2005-03-28T00:21:00.000+08:00

**0021hrs .... T minus 4 days to MF **

** poor basin pipe is clogged **

** no more **

woooah . its sunday . i suppose its easter day eh? where the bunnies go hopping around . o.O not funny ya? hur hur . -_-

so so . its been an potatoish day todae . oh well talk abt yesterday first . well . mum brought back a vcd collection of sun tze arts of war . hah! this is very interesting i tell u . within two days i watched till the 17th cd already . its a 22 piece collection anyway . hah . so there are many things to be learnt in this collection . talks abt yong zhun zhi dao . (the ability to command an army / simply the ways to fight a battle) . it talks abt stuff like fighting a war without attacking bu zhan er sheng. heh . and it also talks abt wei1 . saying gou you gou wei . so that other countries will be afraid of ur wei1 and thus will not attack u . jiang jun you jiang jun wei . saying a general has got its power that no one below him will dare to go against him . like fighting a psychological war thing.

so sun tze 's surname was chen . named chen wu and his personal name is chang qing. so after a successful battle , the chen family asked the king to reward them with a new surname chosen by the king thus the king named them sun. and he has got three women he loved in his life , or so i watched till the 17th episode . one of them died while trying to revenge the chen family for killing her family in a power struggle. and so left with two wives . one he was forced to married to expand the chen family power in the country and the other one was married while he was out trying to look for a king worth fighting for. all his life he have been writing military tactics and came out with the sun tze's art of war 13 chapters waiting for a chance to serve a nation worth fighting for. and so after many years searching he ended up in the country of wu. and there he was being named as the general of the wu army. And so the battles begin for wu to attack the other countries.

there is an incident thats very interesting . so king of wu wants sun tze to prove his ability in commanding an army and asked him to command an army of palace concubines and female servants and perform basic army maneover . apparently king of wu wanted to make fun of sun tze thus giving him this task . sun tze agreed but on the condition that the king will have to give him the full authority to command the army of concubines and servants.the army was seperated into two sides , green and red under the command of two platoon leader, the two most beloved concubines of the king. at the beginning of the challenge no one listened and fooled around like nobody business . so after many times of warning and instructions , sun tze ordered the platoon leaders to be executed under the military law . the king ordered a general to stop the procceedings but was rejected by sun tze . sun tze even ordered to execute the general for intruding the commander of the army under the military law. but seeing that the general was following the order of the king , the horses of the general was being executed together with the two concubines. the king was infuriated by the actions and wanted to execute sun tze . however , at the end of the challenge , all the concubines and servants tasked to form an army successful followed the command of sun tze and acomplished the challenge.

this shows that sun tze will not bothered about kin ship or what so ever while commanding an army in order to let the army listen to his commands . and further shows that punishments and rewards have to be given accordingly while commanding an army to allow the army to function properly .

yuppie! the story of sun tze . =D kinda long . but its interesting dah! hahhaa .

this thing about astrology isnt all that accurate as it had been recently . i have been receiving daily astrology horoscope thingy and most of the times the things mentioned in it really happen in real life . cant denie the accuracy . but however recently ever since it say last week that if i do not take actions or watever , it will be hard for me to talk to the person i yeaned to talk to . well indeed . the predictions lived up to its accuracy . i haven been talking to the person for like a week or so already. hhahaha cool eh? but after that the predictions aint accurate to any sense. saying that today i will be spending time talking to someone about my life and the other person's life . heh . ! eh? wait a minute . aint i doing so talking to bloggy? hahahhaha . *tsk tsk*

well putting the celestial predictions , i am still as troubled . i have all the mixed feelings that i cant put in words . the wordless feelings . the internal struggle . the fear. the feeling i once had before overwhelmed . think i lost the mood to do anything other than sitting infront of the TV watching sun tze . well wouldnt want to make any actions or do anything lest i wan to scare her off and make myself look like some monster. some dumb arse monster who falls in love easily . some monster who doesnt know abt anything. well . perhaps i shouldnt think so much ya? concentrate on my sun tze first ya? =D

dang! the kitchen basin was clogged by god knows wad! hahaha . dang! cant wash the dishes in the basin and have to do it in the toilet . =D kinda interesting tho . =\ hehehe . bottled up i would say! the bottled up pipe is just like me now . choked with rubbish , or rather things that shouldnt be bothered abt at all . hah! me and moi tupid me! =\

fav actions of the day! : pressing the buttons of the controller .

hehehe watched too much of vcd . kept pressing the fast forward button to skip the intro song singing! heehhe . chinese films have got bad start and end music ya? heheh same goes for shan gou zhi!

sam

when u see this , give me a call! i gotta things to tell u ? *wink*!

yucky nasi brani vs hello kitty magnet

2005-03-26T00:44:00.000+08:00

** 0044hrs ... stoning **
** spaceshipone .... woooo**
** cow drinks milk , tortoise dont swim **

yuppie! its some easter holiday todae! wooo .. or is it good friday? heheh . i dont know . anyway its a public holiday day! hahaha .. been lazing around the whole day sitting on the bed , surfing the web . lolz and most importantly do my MF assignment! woopie! will be doing the spaceshipone thingy . its abt a project to make space tourism available in the future. for this spaceshipone is capable of flying to like 100km above ground .. arh . something like tt . have yet to type my report . just did the sourcing. heh . long day!

yuppie! tml mum will be back from HK .. hhehe gonna tidy the house lest she comes back and starts to nag . =x hope she enjoys the trip ! and hopes she buy something fer me? *giggles* i wan a shoe bag! to put moi track shoes . heheh gonna resume moi jogging on monday! maybe after studying can go run a few rounds in sch . yuppie!

so the day just pass me like tt . without me acheiving anything . without me being productive in moi work . hahaha . me am a slacker! big time! woooo ...

had this yucky brani ( i dont even know if its spelt this way.) dang disgusting cold and dry rice , lousy curry . hehe luckily mine not as bad as bro's hes is the chicken one . even more disgusting moi is the mutton . wooo . =) (now now i wrote this para in moi blog on bro's request ya? ) he was asking me if i will write it in the blog! yeah! i am ! hhahaa =p *lamed*

so we wanted to buy ice cream from 7-11 to offset the yuckiness from the brani . and bro was pestering me to like get more stuff so we will exceed $5 and we will be eligible for this hello kitty magnet . and in the end the reciept came to like $7 and we ended up with no hello kitty magnet! dang! felt so cheated ya? they say "free hello kitty magnet for purchases over $5" dang! *oopz* hey its not that i like pinkish hello kitty magnet kz! its the principle ! get it? *blush* =p

so todae in midst of slacking ming wei msged me! hahaha kinda crap and say hes on shuangs bed! omg! i must be a ben dan to believe it ya? not as tho i care kinda thing .. oh well . nvm . *sulks*

wooopie mum just called from HK lolz =D say shes gonna be back tml . o.O hahaha

sam
dumb me

carl brashear

2005-03-25T01:13:00.000+08:00

** 0113hrs ... feeling lighter **

** yawnz ...**

** do i have the pleasure to dance with u? **

yeppie EM3B is out of the window already. hah! a relatively easy paper . easy enuff for me to pass? =D *bleahz* hahaha .. so now wads left will be MF and TF hehe all the Fs . thats equals to (M+T)F eh? shit , i am getting mathematical againz .. arghz . so i was doing paper for the first hour or so and i got so tired that i fell asleep . =x and at that point i was left with 2 qns i dont know how to do . therefore i sought divine help thru sleeping .. heheh when i got up all the answers came to me .. =D smart right? =D *chuckles*

so i was watching this show just now , men of honour . its about this native amercain who had a dream of being a naval diver. carl brashear was his name. however during that time , blacks were being despiced/looked down. racist thingy thing. there wasnt any black naval divers in the navy then , and no one intend to let one be , thus officers didnt want to pass him on his test, but thru hard work and determination , he worked his way out of the test.

so one day he was sent to the sea to retrieve a fallen H-Bomb dropped from a downed bomber. after much difficulty , he managed to do so , but when lifting the bomb out of the sea, he broke his leg while saving other sailors from danger. so after that he couldnt do anymore diving. but this didnt put him down . he got his lower half of the leg amputated and fixed a replacement . so he was forced by this dang officer to walk 12 steps in a new model of diving suit , those heavy heavy kind ... heheh so he took up the challenge and walked the dang 12 steps . and with the encouragement of the officer whom helped him along the way , he was restored his post and was put on active duty after that . and he became the first black diver in the navy and he was the first diver with only one leg

oh well i am bad with words lah .. cant really tell the whole story , too long to put in words also .. dang . now i know why i always didnt do well in summary during O levels .. *wonders*

so so so .. was working thru last night to get my maths thingy done and was dang tired after that . so tired that i actually slept in the clubhouse for like 2 hrs . =x hehehe and trying my luck too . =x and then not even a soul came into the clubhouse except jas in her tooty glasses heheheh =x dang shock . at first i was wondering who in the world is this lady hahha a. =x *bleahz*

and the day pass me by just like tt . went home and get more ZZzzZZz .. heheh had a wonderful dream tho . dreamt of lotsa things well , including my future . its like my married in the future kinda thing . dreamt of courtship dreamt of falling in love . hah . divine indications ya? *crappy* dang if so , cant he drop me a bigger hint as in what should i do to make it big? i suppose he have got plans for everything ya? =)

haven been hearing from xl arh? bro was asking me abt her also . getting kinda worried that something bad might happen . haiz . lets hope not ya? well ... its over already . i think we should move on already? haiz . think she is going to blow her top if she sees this . well . this is my idea of the whole thingy , take it or leave it? u know me . this is me. right bloggy?

in seek of life we desire , of the life we are comfortable with , we have to let go some of the things along the way. we cant possibly bring everything with us . we will be tied down . like a hard disk drive , the amount of space we have is limited . using up the spaces completely or simply filling it up to the brim will have undesired outcomes. thus we should commit them into our memories. just like burning the data into cd or DVD . by doing so , we not only free up our mind , we keep memories of the things that have happen , so as not to forget the painful memories that occur during that time .

memories : 700mb 52x for you sir?

oh well .. to think of it looks like i am now being labeled the bad guy le . wad do i think i am to even like another ger? i am not qualified to receive love from anyone. just me and my wishful thinking that i will be able to fall in love again. *tsk tsk* me and my blardy heart!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

fav words of the day : *snores* ZzzzZzzzzZZz

SLEEP

Not to be consumed internally

To be taken once a day , 8 hours each time for desired effects.

Not to be taken immediately after meals ,for it may cause undesired outcomes.

---

Queen sized bed : $500

IKEA Quilt : $30

IKEA pillow : $12

Bolster : $8

Power for aircon for beautiful sleep : unknown (will be reflected in next month's bill)

Sleep : priceless ( yeah sure! thats $550 excluding power)

Sam

can i ask u to a date?

2005-03-22T23:21:00.000+08:00

** 2321hrs *arhhh... chowww..* **

** mathematically unsound **

** *closes eye* hope it will just go away **

todae is a terrible day. why ? its terrible , thats why. =D yuppie .. its a all study day todae . crapz . had to do the maths thingy . or not will gonna get bad grades for it .. argh . math makes me mad! heehe used to write that in little books/diary in pri sch . and u will start to write whos ur golden friends the silver ones and the bronze ones . the fav and unfav things in ur life . heheh and last but not least to thank the owner and demand him/her to write in urs . hahhaa those were the days . tsk tsk . now the "in" thing is blog ya? lolz

arghs math todae is really bad only managed to figure out one paper in like 2 hrs . which is rather bad la .. argh . and was down with flu .. all the sneezing .. hahhaa i am a flu bug! hiak hiak . be sure to eat ur vit C or i shall attack u with flu .. *buzz buzzz*

hah .. gotta nothing interesting happening todae all abt maths tho .. =p shall work hard tml ya? jiayouz!

fav words of the day: Arhhh... chewww...
heheh . dang!

sam
*sighs*

www.sam.com/mind/emotions

2005-03-22T00:11:00.000+08:00

** 0011hrs ... turning into a pumpkin ...**

** guess a char: a cat that says hello -_- **

** u look great today ... **

** alcoholic ice lemon tea ... **

holiday starts now! eh .. wait . crap its not even a holiday , its a STUDY week .. *growls.* yuppie that means the activation of the yearly held

OPERATION ZEST

(FOR MY EYES ONLY!)

heheh bloggy doesnt know wads that right? heheh OD knows! hahah its actually a operation held to tackle the clear and present danger of studies . the threat is real and dangerous , therefore special care have to be taken when handling it. is that understood? what?! i cant hear you!! *learp learp learp right learp... *

hehehe bring back old memories of marching .. hahha . gonna be doing it soon next year! bless me ya?

yup , went back to np todae to hand in moi practical thingy . heheh cool ya? gonna study tml le ! with xiuting . anyone wanna join us? *waves in the air* hehehe . soon it will be goodbye year 2 and embracing year 3 le .. hiak hiak . cant wait to do IAP . working with the baby all day long , seeing it fly to the setting sun .. woooah..

had perc ensemble today ! rather cool .. and i broke the drum skin .. hahhaa wooo .. cant believe it . looks like it will be dang cool for PnC ya? =x talking abt PnC i shall not do ticketing le ! dang tedious . argh . shitty job. boooo!

blog : the place where u want ppl to know what u dont want them to know.

think that more or less summarise this blog frenzy ya? i mean what for keep a blog which is like a diary but u cant write in all the secret stuffs and all? unless u wanna get a earful of shit from those involved , or better still get urself in a situation . haa! see, i make sense right? and some dollars too! *grinz* but there is this something that make us have to urge to tell someone thats bothering u . thats why everyone writes blog .or perhaps i shall put this way. a certain percentage of bloggers do that while the other just wanna make full use of their broadband connection to the fullest lest they will be wasting marnee on it ya? *bows*

enuff talk abt big idealogy ya? something on a lighter note . heheh i am gonna change a hp !! weee!! .. eh eh ? bloggy u not interested? =( *bleahz*

so so i finally found the connecting pipe to the filter for moi two lovely cousins .. hehe to replace the greeny bottle in the tank .. hahaha . me and moi thinking brain .. =D

haiz . something is bothering me . i feel dang down today after the perc lah . not cos of the broken skin .. ( aint heart broken abt it . we have nothing but marnee in the fund ya david? >.<) its cos of her . nope not going to tell names or whatsoever . definately not someone obvious . lest i wanna get myself in shitter shit ya? was trying to avoid looking into eyes todae . dang donno why . perhaps i just dont wanna fall deeper and deeper . or maybe i think it isnt just the right time , like i have just hurt someone so deeply and now i am gonna get someone else . i just feel bad abt it . its not the lack of love that ended the r/s , its the unsuitable char of us . thinking of it , i think the love isnt there anymore after the broke up thus impossible to get back together. and i am not going to do so . i wouldnt wan to hurt her so deeply another time.

dang i sound contradicting ya? bloggy if u don understand , find OD and he will tell u more abt me or u can go this website to know all abt me www.sam.com/mind/emotions ya? or if u still dont understand , drop by my dream tonite , the door number is SDL0102 . dont get the wrong door ya? or u will end up being scared by kids and find a sock stuck to ur back and u have to get shaved down to ur skin by the swat cleaners ya? *wink*

all in all , i just wish all have not started . i think its the can of fosters i had that day . that made me even have the initial idea . hah. crappy me .

u can never imagine its u

for i cant even believe i fell for u

fate. believe it or it shall haunt u forever.

dang . i am getting too serious again. haiz . see? now thats the bad thing abt blog . u have to try dang hard not to reveal the person while on the other hand u wish badly she sees this . contradicting me ya?

enuff of all the serious talk . now for the fav section of moi blog :

drink of the day : ice lemon tea on da rock.

ice lemon tea on da rocks

hehehe . just find it cool ya? wish its alcoholic , gonna wash away all the bad feeling i have now . oh well .. looking it on the bright side , at least it cost me less that 2 dollars for 1.5 L hehhe

fragrance of the day! : Calvin Klein One.

CK one and Hugo boss
woooo. i am using the one in silver , thats CK 1 then its Hugo boss . thats bro's was sharing that with him last time . till mum bought me this! yuppie . love the fragrance and all . wooo . thats to kill the BO .. hahha =p

tats all for the hectic day .. heheh . hey bloggy remember to look up the links i gave u ya? *wink* *giggles*

sam.

u look nice todae.

grandpa's recipe

2005-03-20T01:48:00.000+08:00

** 0148hrs slacky slacky **
** blank blank blank **
** looks like it will be a long time b4 i can even see u eh? **
** broke **

yeah yeah . its like going to 2 am in the morning . i have been slacking the whole day . eating and watching tv . how slack can i be ? -_- i have to enjoy the slacking days b4 work starts catching up and suffocate me . tsk tsk .

fighting : one-to-one barehand fighting is the most basic form of fighting. there would be a time when one have to fight for the things that one believes and treasures .

wonder if i got it right or not . its from the jap serial that i have been watching . lolz encouraging ppl to fight eh? lolz *shrugs* food for thought . =D

*tsk tsk* being broke sure is terrible . no marnee to go here there anywhere . wanted to go to the beach or somewhere today . but i tot back that i haven got marnee put me off the idea completely. and i just have to settle with facing TV , LCD and Monitor screen . arggh . gonna be some potato soon eh? *bounce bounce*

have been trying hard to finish my "red rabbit" its by tom clancy. somehow i just cant comprehand wads written . and i notice a change in his writing compared to the other series i read . *shrugs* of perhaps its just my incapability to understand the book. anyway its talking abt CIA , KGB , esponiage and all .. hehehe kinda confusing espacially those russian names .. booo.. they do have long spellings that aint easy to remember. i wonder how long it takes for a young kid to fully remember the spelling of his name .. heheh and spelling it in russian sure will be tougher . hah . my name's still the best! : cowdrinkmilk! *cheers*

regrets : never regret things that u have done. u made it all happen.

lived by this sentence ever since sec sch . for those are the days when one have to make important decisions in life. heh .. cool eh? but it seems that many times i have made a wrong decision eh? and i have to live with it . yeah. thats call eat the shit u shit! *snorts*

long day at home. but have got nothing more to write . heh. tml shall not be a slacking day . gonna have dinner or lunch with moi aunt and two cutie cousins .. haha bubbly i would say. full of youth. heheh . maybe going over to help them with the fishy tank thingy .. hehe i am some aquarium freak. i talk to fishes !!! arh!!! thats wad bro always say tho . -_-

like shuang say fishes aint the best of pets for u cant hug and play with them .. make sense eh? perhaps i can stuck my hand in the tank and touch them? *evil grinz* hiak hiak... hey hey .. joking only man. i am not animal abuser ya? i got those kind looking face u know .. *smiles widely* heheheh .

yeah . so mum was telling me how to cook grandpa's way of flour coated diced pork. lolz . cannot reveal the recipe .. =x secret! hehehe . *bleahz* well .. was cooking it with bro .. so we inprovised the recipe to make it taste nicer. we cooked with sauce .. hehe but in the end it got kinda salty .. =x so mum said its the recipe grandpa always use .. and when i was eating it , the image of grandpa come flooding back . kinda nice tho . hehehe . tho the man physical body isnt here , his teaching and skills remain in this world .

Food of the day!!! : green goldfish pellet , aquori flakes staple food for all tropical fishes

hehehe the fishes seems to enjoy the food .. lolz every time i walk near to the tank , big one will start to swim towards the direction . hehehe cool eh? maybe when they see me they will get food . perhaps they are trying to say .. "swim with me swim with me " hehe =p i am sick .. from all the slacking at home .. booo

sam

looks like we aint fated after all .

finally felt like a human.

2005-03-18T20:41:00.000+08:00

** 2046hrs .... humanly me ! **
** big one and fluffy sure is getting bored by now ... **
** i shall avoid looking into ur eyes from now on **

good day bloggy! hows virtual world eh? looks kinda boring to me . how abt coming to my humanly world .. hehehhe . =) i finally got my wish of having a holiday . a get to feel human day for me . a day where i can feel i am a human , slack like a human . =) good good

so what did i do? basically i did nothing . nothing at all . i woke up at 10 , make sure i have clothes to wear when i decide to go out , ( which i didnt ..) , watch this jap tv serial until like 2 , ate instant noodles . and I HAD ICE-CREAM ... wooo .. Nestle Drumstick (chocolatte flavour) wooo .. then i continue to watch and watch till like 4 . wanted to prepare to go shuang's house . but . oh well . i fell asleep and woke up like 6+ by wb call .. heheh so i didnt go there . ate dinner , watched tv . hmm.. and now blogging ... I LOVE A TYPICAL SLACKING DAY!!! wwooooo..

looks like alot of my friends are going to get real mad at me if they see wad i did todae . hehehe sorry guys! just wanted to spend time with myself . heheh . =p u guys are the best !!! thru out the day only one fone call to bother me . and no more . ! yuppie ! thanks for giving me this time to myself ! =)

friends , watched the jap serial todae , they talked abt friends .

[Friends : no body likes to walk by themselves so they hang around with friends . When ur friends need u , help them like how they did when u need them. ]

yeah yeah .. makes lots of sense ya? hehehe .

really hope cy and fadz can get the siaec thingy . tho i didnt get it , i still hope someone from our class get it . to prove we aint the lousiest AT class around . yeah yeah ... hope theres some chalet this time round . but from the bad experiences , i doubt anyone would wanna set it up again ya? tsk tsk .

cool .. was away for this 9am show . bleahz ..

**1034hrs ... slacky **

yeap yeap .. sometimes i think that tv shows from mediacorp isnt that interesting afterall .. quite boring kind .. lolz argh .. how i wish gotta SCV .. hiak hiak .. its not the size of ur tv that matters , its wad u put in it .. lolz

so so so .. the pump of moi tank starts acting strangely againz .. heh heh .. bad water flow and stuffs .. and the greenery got stuck at the inlet .. tsk tsk .. shall get all gold fish for my tank ! i don care . shall not introduce any gold fish biting fish anymore .. argh .. poor fluffy got attacked untill disfigured .. sadz .. all my fault ..=\

this is the day i found life . my own life that is .. =D from monday onwards . i shall strive for the final leg of second year!! yeah yeah .. time flies . will be going to ns soon .. booohooo.. =\

webby of the day : airliners.net

this is where i get all the pics of a/c and all the information from the forum !! wooo hoo .. and best of all they gotta information on most a/c .. enjoy!!!

food of the day : instant bowl noodles with chilli padi , chill , mock abalone (loser me .. -_-) and pepper

this is teh crap i ate this afternoon .. hehhee its nice to eat instant noodles once in a while eh... !! wait wait .. dang! i have been eating for like the past few days!! omg .. wad to do ... i am broke!! (bro see that? heeheh *shyy*)

sam

i didnt wanna look into ur eyes , thats why i wasnt there. get it?

u like guys who likes to cook?

2005-03-17T22:26:00.000+08:00

** 2225hrs .... relaxed .. **

** i converted argh .. to arh.....**

** her her her ... why why why??? **

** aH yInG's nEw wOrlD OrdEr T-sHirT is here!!! **

aH ying's nEw w0rLd OrDar ...

Yeah yeah !!! yeah jieying !! hahah a-_- new world order thingy took during WTF presentation.. wooo . will be seeing more of him next sem tho . "whyyy arh .... "

yeap yeap two weeks worth of tests and quizes are over . feel so relaxed now . heh heh . but after this week end its the beggining of a new hectic two week thingy . argh crapz . o.O nono isnt argh crapz .. its arhhh.. crap .. o.O

kept seeing this ger in tha campus this week . this thin thin ger .. always stare at me as tho i am some furry monster .. -_- heh heh . perhaps its fate eh?

Fate.

assuming the chance of meeting someone in this big big world as 1 . for there is only that one chance there and then . to calculate fate we have the equation :

1 = (Fate^time) + luck + (unforeseem circumstances)

there there .. the equation of fate .. the factors include fate of cos luck and unforeseen circumstances . (P.S. website and myself does not take the resposibility of any mischap or whatsoever happening due to the equation. after all i tot this all out inside the toilet while shitting .. =x)

so so so .. enuff abt the fate crap shit . hahah talking abt fate , i saw the acapala ger/choir ger/cassc ger .. uh .. beauty .. arh ... very sweet looking smie and all .. nice hair .. and xiuting says i like gers with those kind of hair .. just like jieying's one .. -_- booo! yeah yeah .. crapz . nice day at the underpass todae .. wooo .. tho cramped with lotsa MF shit . but all in all its a good afternoon spent . *raises eyebrow* ..

talking abt underpass .. cy and ah ying was grumbling that i passed the cold virus to them . oh well .. i am guilty of that lah .. *shyy* but cant help it . the chill winds and bad weather .. burr burr ... *sorry .. with apologetic face .. *

had some deafening perc ensemble todae .. woo .. kinda got the song out already . making progress just that i still cant catch the beat .. argh .. then wb have to jump jump jump infront of me .. hahaha =x had the bass drum strapped to my groin .. argh .. all the vibration and all .. wonder if it has got side effects .. o.O hehehe .

saw moi ex todae on the cab into sch . got quite terrified that i quickly walked up "teaching hub ... " shall not say anymore abt this matter le . lest i will be labelled the bad guy further .. =\ *snorts.*

18th of march shall be labelled sam's holiday ! sam is taking a self declared holiday . all trivial matters will not be entertained till monday

webby of the day : cowdrinkmilk.blogspot.com. i love my bloggy .. yeah yeah yeah . i encourage all to read to know more abt me !! yeap yeap ..

food of the day: flour coated tofu.. hehehe .. it just struck me like lightning .. and i wipped out a nicely fried tofu .. like the canteen 4 ones .. just without the sauce .. hehhee . =x u like guys whom like to cook? bet not .. =\

sam. i just wanna avoid looking into ur eyes ..

sky juice...

2005-03-17T00:59:00.000+08:00

** 0100hrs . sticky**

** money money money**

** Its still her , i dont know why... **

looks like i am addicted to blogging .. jumping on to the wagon of international blogging frenzy .. lolz. somehow i dont kno why i see chinese characters appearing in my blog like ... i am in some .cn webby .. is it so? someone please enlighten me ..

the presentation went well .. quite good actually . finally WTF didnt say anything . lolz everyone was so tensed up todae for the presentation cy even dreamt of throwing objects at him .. lolz so it all went well . and the word good came out of his mouth .. arh .. thats something rare .. lolz so i heard he shoot juvenile .. until she cry . (dont know if i got the name correct or not .. =\ ) heheh thats how bad it got ..

yep so it was a relieve .. so i took pic of ahying new world order shirt .. heh heh couldnt post it up tho . dont know how to .. -_- tupid me .. argh .. so its talking abt some newbie thingy . cool . and its all printed on the bottom side . and it looked as tho i was taking pics of her butt .. o.O oopz . =x *innocent crap*

had some serious meetings todae . talked abt lotsa policies ... hope all worked out as planned yea? and i think i was too noisy during practice todae .. hahaha making all the stupid comments .. o.O but it was just real bored .. like crochet for the whole piece ... omgg.. *jas .. i did these all for u k .. *wink* * oh well thats the last prac . heh .

didnt get siaec . time to find money . hur .

i didnt dare look into her eyes . i am afraid i will fall deeper . this isnt the right time for all these i suppose .

looks like its all back to *embracing singlehood* once again .. *snorts*

quote of the day : "da dao odessy ..."

hahahha was darn funny tho .. but sounded immature . duhz ..

food of the day : plain rice with fried chicken and sky juice from Al-Ahzar.. (hows it spelt anyway? o.O )

fantastic .. witth the curry and all .. hahaha i ate like some pig like tt .. maybe i was too hungry from all the meetings and all .. *shakes head*

Sam.

shall not look into ur eyes anymore .

chill wind blowing .

2005-03-16T03:45:00.000+08:00

** burrr.... 0315hrs now . the fresh air blows in . **

** something bothering me ... some thots .. **

** its her i know .. i know .. i know .. **

hey hey this ish moi blogg... moi space moi place . hehehe ... its wad 315 and i am not getting some ZzZzzzz . wad crap. supposed to have test tml . cant get in .. i see xiuting just log in .. wooo . i found myself company eh? -_-

so everyone is working hard for this semester . while i am still wondering wad went wrong with my life . pathetic eh? *snorts* oh well .. i woke up just in time for end of term paper . this is just great . hur hur .

was flipping and tossing in the bed . cant get to sleep . dont know why . bothered. perhaps its the afternoon naps that i have been consuming just now that made me so .. energetic . or perhaps its the memories that comes flooding that kept me awake.

i saw the time in perth . i saw liang seng . i saw ycs . i saw the ugly yellow colored building of ycs. i saw many many faces . but i didnt see myself . where am i?

i have the schedule for the next 2 weeks out already. planned but not by me . by the invinsible hand. i work and work not knowing wad am i doing. this is all meaningless . arghz.

so jb had his POP , siyi ready for uni , pw is slogging with uni , sy got on with her dreams . i am where i was. this isnt going anywhere . i need an indication . show it to me .... just this once?

its her . she got my attention . i wouldnt dare to move forward. the past relationship still cast a dark hood over moi heart . haiz . dont ask me anymore of the past relationship wads done cant be undone . xing ge bu her . argh .......

well well... looks like i bored u out already eh? my first entry since OD and all ... cool . keep it up . =D bloggy

webby of the day : www.np.edu.sg (most frequently visited website.)

Erhem ... this webby is the webby i visit the most . why? it has got HOT links like Mel , Npal and the best of all "Mailbox" . I reccomend this webby to all ngee ann poly students for this is the most IN and HIP webby of the webby ... enjoy!! *wink*.

quote of the day : haahhahahahhahaha , wahahahahhha , lolz (most used phrases of the day)

HEY HEY HEY .. these are the most used phrases of the day ... why? ever since talking to shuang .. i got infected with the "wahhaha" thingy . people pls beware of this contagious disease which is spreading like wildfire. heh heh ..

sam

"i am where i was ..."